Ten Things I Hate About You
by settingthesunrise
Summary: Frank's a transfer student, Lily is bitter, James is distant, and Alice is shallow. What are the ten things Lily Evans hates about you?
1. Chapter 1

**Ten Things I Hate About You**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Ten Things I Hate About You or Harry Potter.**

**A/N: Totally obsessed with the movie, and thought I could manipulate it somehow into the story of James and Lily. OTP always. Anyway, there have been some major changes and some minor from canon to make this story. Here they are:**

**-James and Lily aren't headboy and girl.**

**-Amos Diggory is in their year.**

**Is that really it? Jesus, I thought there was more. I'll give a holler if I find more. Enjoy!**

"GRYFFINDOR!" The sorting hat shouted as soon as Frank Longbottom, newly transferred seventh year, had the well worn cloth placed on his head. He was met with loud cheers and wolf whistles from those who greeted him at his house table and he smiled sheepishly at them. Frank had never been one for making friends, and he didn't stay long enough in one place to do it anyway. The Longbottoms came from a long line of Aurors, and this Lord Voldemort being the biggest piece of action the wizarding world had seen since Grindewald, his parents were constantly moving to wherever needed them most at the time. For now, it was Mother England, and Frank would be attending Hogwarts for his final year.

Albus Dumbledore stood up, laughing at something completely irrelevant, and spoke over the crowd of humming voices, post-sorted. "Students, students! Welcome back for another magical year! As ecstatic as I'm sure you all are to be back at school, my duty as Headmaster requires me to reiterate a few of the rules that a certain some of you may have forgotten over summer," he said wisely, his eyes inexplicably dancing over to the Gryffindor table before looking away just as quickly.

"The Forbidden Forrest is, of course, forbidden unless you have quite unfortunately acquired a detention. Dungbombs, fizzing whizbees, horned boomerangs, and a whole other assortment of banned items are listed in Mr. Filch's office if you are unsure of the legality of the object in your possession. Congratulations again, students. Catnip, blowfish, fichus!"

The food appeared spontaneously in front of Frank and his eyes grew to the size of the full turkey laid out in front of him. He was so shocked that he nearly forgot to contemplate the oddments of his new Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, who he had heard rumors of but had never actually seen. Someone next to him laughed at the expression on Frank's face, and stuck out his hand in greeting when Frank turned to get a good look,

"Remus Lupin," the boy next to him introduced. Frank was slightly taken aback by the horrible scars that marred his faced and disrupted the serenity of his clear blue eyes. Remus seemed to notice and blushed, letting his bangs drop over his forehead and blocking the worst of his scars from view. "You're Frank Longbottom, right? You'll be in my dorm. I suppose I can show you around Hogwarts if you like."

Frank snapped out of his dazed stupor and shook Remus's still outstretched hand. "Oh, thank Merlin, a normal guy," Frank sighed in relief to cover up his previous rudeness, "Usually I only attract the geeky kids who want to go to the library all day."

Remus's eye twitched. "Yeah, I hate the library. I avoid it like the plague," Remus laughed nervously, picking at some pudding in front of him. A pudgy boy on the other side of Frank's new friend butted into their conversation.

"No, you like the library, Moony. Didn't you say on the train here that you were going to spend every day-" the pudgy boy started, nibbling on a block of cheese before Remus elbowed him in the ribs, breaking off his sentence and making him wheeze.

"Not now, Peter," Remus hissed through his teeth, turning back to Frank with a too large smile. Frank looked curiously from the pudgy boy to Remus until Remus sighed and introduced, "Frank, this is Peter Pettigrew. Wormtail, this is Frank Longbottom."

_Moony? Wormtail? What kind of names are those?_ Frank thought to himself.

Out loud, Frank said, "Hullo, Peter." Peter just nodded and turned back to his food.

Frank looked across the table to find a scary looking girl with darkly lined eyes glaring back at him. He gulped and looked down out of fright. Remus leaned over and whispered, "Hestia Jones. Don't mess with her. She believes she was sorted into the wrong house and tries to get house points deducted all the time. She usually hangs out with the Ravenclaw Goths. Don't talk to them either; the Slytherins aren't the only ones known to dabble in dark curses."

Frank nodded as he absorbed the information, and pointed to a handsome laughing boy surrounded by other pretty people at the table over from the Gryffindors, all wearing black and yellow robes. "Who are they, then?" Frank asked, but Remus knocked his finger down.

"Don't point at Amos Diggory. Bad things happen. He's a bit of a jerk-off really, but all the dumb girls flock to him because he's got his ugly mug in Witch Weekly all the time. General rule, don't engage," Remus warned, taking a bite of his turkey leg a little too viciously.

"Is that really a general rule or is that your rule?" Frank asked, laughing at Remus's raised eyebrows and bitter tone.

"Well, I mean, you could try it. Here, I'll do it right now. Oi, Diggory! Hey, it's me, Remus Lupin," Remus called out, waving his arms and looking like a general fool. Diggory stopped laughing immediately and looked towards the both of them in disgust.

"Don't talk to me, loser," Diggory mouthed back, smiling arrogantly at his friends who got up when the food began disappearing. Remus nodded and glanced at Frank all-knowingly.

"See? Told you so."

They got up from their own table and fell into the swarm of magical teenagers gathering at the doors to the Great Hall. Remus continued to point out people to Frank.

"Oh, those are the future Death Eaters. Scary blokes. Don't look Bellatrix Black in the eyes, mate! Do you have a death wish or something?

"That group of Hufflepuffs over there are obsessed with all things muggle. You missed it, but a few years ago, Arthur Weasley- great guy, a little unstable in the head, though- started a Muggle Awareness Club! I've only heard about it, of course, it disbanded a few years before I got here.

"Marauders. I'm in with them. James Potter and Sirius Black mostly just boss me and Peter Pettigrew around. I let 'em because they're my best friends, so what other choice do I have. They're loyal to the end, we all are, and you'll fit in with us just fine. Pull a few pranks, hex a few Slytherins, all in good fun. However, you should try to stay out of James's way. Don't get on his bad side," Remus said proudly, and it was obvious to Frank that these boys were tight knit as it were. He would have a hell of a time trying to fit in.

All of the sudden, Frank caught sight of the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on. As he watched, she tucked a bit of her short brown hair behind her ear and laughed lightly at something a pretty blonde girl next to her had said. Frank pointed to the girl a few staircases below him and asked Remus, "Who is that beautiful creature? I burn, I pine, I _perish._"

Remus grabbed Frank's shoulders, seeing as his state of shock almost caused him to topple over the railing as the staircase moved. He peered over to see the girl that Frank was so fixated and quickly pulled back, snorting in disbelief. Without a word, he pushed Frank up the stairs to the Common Room.

"Alice Prewett? Not a chance, my friend, not a chance. She may be a beautiful creature, but her friends are psycho. One in particular, really, but take Marlene McKinnon for example. Pretty girl, right? Nice laugh? Yeah, well she's not laughing when she beats a bludger at your head. Not a pretty sight. Alice's friends are super protective of her, and she lost her mum when she was really young. Her dad is crazy about her dating, even though she doesn't live with him. It's weird. Don't want to get involved with that. She's pretty hot, that's true. Not very deep, pretty conceited, but decently attractive."

Frank sighed and rubbed his hand across his forehead exasperatedly. "So, basically, what you're telling me is that I don't have a chance with the one normal girl in school because she doesn't date and all the others are off their rockers?"

Remus thought it over, sticking his tongue out of his mouth as he stopped in front of a portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress. "Yeah, pretty much," Remus agreed as Frank groaned. "Unicorn tails," he told the painting, and the portrait swung out, revealing a tunnel that they crawled through in order to enter the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Well, I think otherwise. I know I can get Alice to date me. You wait and see, Remus," Frank declared with a goofy grin. Remus shrugged his shoulders as if to say 'Your funeral mate', and they began crossing the room to the dormitory stairs. That is until Frank felt a sharp pain in his forehead as someone collided with him. They both fell to the floor, reeling in pain.

"Remove head from ass, then walk, moron. Your eyes are strategically placed so that you can see where you go, not ogle girl's breasts. Men," the girl grunted, heaving herself off the ground and rubbing a blooming red spot on her head as she stormed out of the room, her brilliantly red hair flying out like a cape behind her. Admittedly, her shirt was rather low cut, and Frank's eyes were a little bit concussive, and they might have wandered over to the girl's chest on accident, but that was no reason to be so rude!

Remus sighed sympathetically at him, holding a hand out to Frank to help him off the floor. He said, "Tough round of luck, Frank. You've just had your first encounter with Lily Evans, heinous bitch and Alice Prewett's best friend. Yes, she's always like that."

Frank groaned in dismay and rubbed the goose egg forming on his head with the heel of his hand. "You're kidding," Frank said in denial, "That devil is my angel's best mate? What? Why?"

Remus laughed as he helped the possibly concussed poor fellow up the stairs to their dormitory. Frank winced with every step.

"They've been best friends for years. It used to be Snape, one of the Death Eaters, Alice, and Lily, but now it's just Lily and Alice. Don't know if I've mentioned this either, but Alice can't date anyone until Lily does. It's some stupid rule that Alice's dad came up with once she and Lily started to hang out more and Mr. Prewett saw Lily for the freaky little prude she was. He's a bit protective of Alice, have I mentioned? This is our dorm," Remus added, pushing open the door and allowing Frank to enter first. Frank moaned and threw himself down on the empty bed, ignoring the three other boys in the dorm who stared curiously at him.

Remus cleared his throat and introduced 'The Marauders'. "Everyone, this is Frank. Frank, the one on the left of you is Sirius Black. The bespectacled git smoking the cigarette is James Potter, and you've already met Peter," he announced grandly.

"What's wrong with him?" A sharp, barking voice of Sirius Black asked quizzically. "Oi, Prongs, pass me the cig."

"He's met Lily Evans, hasn't he? Poor bloke ran into her headfirst. She just about tore his head off before he even got a word in edgewise," Remus explained sadly. The other boys nodded in understanding. "On another dark note, he seems to have taken a liking to Alice Prewett.

Frank sat up to gauge the Marauders' reactions. Sirius and Peter seemed to know where he was coming from, but James looked utterly disinterested, gazing at his wand as tiny red sparks flew out of it periodically.

"Sorry to hear that, Frank," Sirius apologized, taking a drag of the fag and handing it back to James.

"You know what I heard, though?" Peter bounced excitedly on his bed. "She's looking for a tutor in Potions!"

Frank grinned broadly and bounced off of his four poster, his wand pointed at the ceiling and emitting gold sparks of excitement. "Perfect!" he celebrated, shaking Peter's hand roughly and causing the poor boy to jerk around like a rag doll.

"You're skilled in Potions, then, Frank?" Remus asked amusedly, sitting down on his own designated four poster.

Frank shook his head but didn't lose any enthusiasm before declaring, "No, but I can learn to be excellent!"

He was met with a roar of laughter, even from James Potter.


	2. Chapter 2

Lily fumed in anger from the run in with the gawky new kid who had been looking everywhere but her eyes, the pervert. Alice still hadn't made it back to the Common Room and they had scheduled a talk with Mr. Prewett in the fireplace for Alice's first night back, just like they did every year. Precisely nine o'clock, on the dot, without fail.

She found her, predictably, with Marlene McKinnon and Amos Diggory, possibly the only person in school she truly hated. The rest of the people just disgusted her with their moronic tendencies and mob-like mindsets. Except for Severus Snape. She really hated him, too.

"Diggory," Lily greeted coldly as she approached their currently deserted corridor. Marlene rolled her dark eyes in protest, but Alice smiled brightly at her best friend.

"Evans," Diggory nodded back, sneering down at her. "Lost on the way to the Lesbian Convention? I believe they're down the hall to the right."

Lily sneered right back at him. "I would be offended right now, Diggory, but seeing as all I hear when you open your much too wide mouth is oppressive male stereotypes, I haven't the slightest what you just said. In fact, all I can remember about you is that our last encounter had something to do with me setting your eyebrows on fire. Funny, do you recall that?"

Diggory paled and mumbled something about late curfew, running along his merry way.

"Lily," Alice chided, pushing past her shrewd best friend on her way back up to the Common Room, "honestly, I don't know why you have to be so rude to people who want to be my friend."

"He wanted to be more than your friend, Alice. Trust me on this one," Lily advised haughtily, then turned to give Marlene a disgusted glare. "Marlene."

"Lily. Can't say I've missed you this summer."

"Likewise."

"Oh, stop it, both of you. Can't you act like friends for one hour? I know you are, because of me, so don't pretend you aren't," Alice sighed, giving the fat lady the password and turning to Lily as she waited for the passage to open. "Besides, would it really be so wrong if Amos wanted to be more than friends? It's understandable. Look at me." Lily grunted and strode past her, annoyed at the vapidity of her friend.

"So, Lily, what do you think of the new kid? Frank Longbottom, isn't it? Dreadful last name," Marlene started, flopping down on the quickly evaded- previously inhabited by a wise third year- armchair nearest to the cozy fireplace.

"He's an incorrigible pervert. Ram straight into me and all he could fumble around pathetically to do was stare at my breasts," Lily complained, ever the feminist. Dorcas Meadowes and May McDonald found them swiftly enough. Dorcas settling on the floor in front of Marlene who began to braid her thick black hair absentmindedly and Mary sat down on the couch beside Lily.

"A little early for complaints about the oppression, isn't it, Lily?" Dorcas interrupted. Lily glared darkly at her and crossed her arms over her chest. Before she could say anything in retaliation, however, Mr. Prewett's head popped up out of the dying embers of what was once a roaring fire.

"Alice, darling, how was the first night back?" Mr. Prewett addressed his only daughter immediately. She smiled warmly at him before throwing herself into the tale of how everyone's summer went and the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor being more skittish than normal this year. Then, as a final note, Alice signed her own death certificate.

"Listen, Daddy, Amos Diggory asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him next month, and I'm not saying you have to decide right away, but-"

"Oh, I can decide right now. That would be a no. That is, unless Lily is dating anyone?" His eyes searched the room until they landed on his best friend's daughter and smiled proudly at her. When she shook her head, his grin grew even wider. "Made anyone cry today, Lily?"

Lily laughed at thought about the first years she had growled at on the train ride here, but they had only whimpered in fear. Petunia had admittedly thrown her off her game with the final annual 'Goodbye, freak,' as she did every year. "Can't say that I have, Mr. P. The day isn't over yet, though."

"Good, good," Mr. Prewett praised. "You keep an eye on my daughter. Have a good year, girls!"

His face gave a slight pop like a cracking ember and the Common Room was silent again. Alice sat fuming in her armchair opposite of Marlene. Lily remained unfazed by her friend's death glare directed solely at her. Sometimes, Alice despised Lily for not getting a boyfriend, even if just for the sake of allowing Alice herself to date. But hey, that was life.

As the five of them trekked up the stairs to get a full night's sleep before classes the next day, Lily heard Marlene ask Mary, "I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever be just whelmed?"

Mary thought about it deeply for a moment before responding, "I think you can in America."

Lily caught eyes with Alice and they sighed at how utterly stupid Alice's friends were, because Merlin knows Lily would never associate with those air heads on her own.

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Frank found himself unable to butter his toast correctly because of the beautiful sight that was Alice Prewett's face sufficiently distracting him from his task. Remus had snapped his fingers under Frank's nose, but he was too far gone to even notice.

"Let's see your schedule, shall we, Frank?" Remus asked, probably a little louder that he normally would've as he grabbed the parchment away from Frank's hand before he attempted to butter that, too.

"Potions with Slytherins first. I'm in there. So is Alice," Remus sighed, finally getting Frank's attention. "Honestly, mate, you're acting like she slipped you a love potion. You've never even had a conversation."

Sirius glanced up from his orange juice and bacon across from Frank, and said, "Listen, Frank, you're not going to get with Prewett. Unless you find some poor bloke who's willing to tame the beast that is Lily Evans, you don't stand a chance. Besides, Diggory has wanted in Alice's panties since she started telling him she couldn't date. That's been going on three years or so now."

Frank stood up victoriously. "That's it!" he shouted in Sirius's face. Sirius blinked up at him, but before he could respond, a hundred owls swooped into the Great Hall. A large, snowy owl coasted to a stop in front of Sirius, nipping his finger affectionately.

"Damn, James is out on the pitch. Stressing out, per usual," Sirius told us and the owl. Frank assumed the package was for James Potter, then. From his mum.

"Hey, Sirius," a couple of fifth year Hufflepuffs giggled as they walked by him, but he seemed to turn a deaf ear as he struggled to detach the package from the owl's leg. Finally, Remus let out a breath and whipped out his wand, cutting the twine in half with a non-verbal spell. Sirius gasped in frustration and looked up at Remus.

"_Moony_!"

"Are you a wizard or aren't you, Padfoot?" Remus asked, but the laugher was evident in his tone. Frank felt the corners of his mouth twitch upward as they bantered.

"So, why do you guys get cool nicknames? When do I get one?" Frank questioned, glancing at Alice again and missing the frightened look that Remus and Sirius shared. Sirius recovered first.

"Oh, I dunno, Frank. When are you going to get with Prewett?" Sirius teased, but Frank took the challenge seriously. Wow, no pun intended. Frank wondered how often the chap had heard that joke.

"As soon as someone is willing to tame the shrew," Frank answered, gathering his bag and marching out the door after Alice, heading to Potions where he would soon become her new Potions tutor even if it would be the death of him.

"Find a seat, find a seat," a fat man in standard professor's robes ordered merrily, gesturing to the empty desks. Alice sat down in a desk by herself, and Lily and Frank locked eyes before they both dove for the chair, Frank beating Lily by a fraction of a second. Lily sat by herself, seeing as the Slytherins avoided her like the plague because she was a muggle-born and she hated everyone in her own house.

"Frank Longbottom," Frank introduced, sticking his hand out to Alice, who took it delicately and shook it lightly.

"Alice Prewett," she answered. "How are you liking Hogwarts so far, Fabio?"

"It's Frank, actually."

It was going better now that he had finally heard her sweet, innocent voice. He couldn't say that though, that would freak her out, so he settled for a, "Fine," and Professor Slughorn, the man who had directed them to their seats, went into the many properties for the cure for boils. Frank was beyond pleased with himself. He had done this lesson at his old school! _Time to be an ace_, he thought to himself.

"Did anyone attempt to read the new Potions textbook over the break?" the professor asked hopefully, his smile drooping a bit when only three students put their hands up. "Fine, fine, that's all right."

Thirty minutes later and his potion was a nice pale pink color, awarding ten points to Gryffindor. Unfortunately, Alice's was midnight blue and smelling of dog shit, causing Professor Slughorn to look down his nose and shake his head at her.

"This is awful. How am I going to survive this year, Freddy?" Alice complained to Frank, stuffing her parchment and quills lazily back into her bag.

"Er, my name is Frank. Well, uh, I could help you out outside of class, like a tutor or something," Frank stuttered nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. Alice squealed happily, ignoring Lily's humph of annoyance as she waited on her, and told him he was the best (Finn) before scampering off after her not so patient friend.

"I have to hand it to you, Frank," Sirius clapped him on the shoulder and propelled the smaller boy forward a few inches as Remus appeared on his other side, "you've got gumption. Half the school wouldn't even have the guts to talk to Alice Prewett, much less tutor her. Bravo, I can see why you're a Gryffindor."

Remus nodded in agreement. "Too bad about Lily still being a bitch, though. She used to be such a nice person, and it would've been so easy just to pawn her off to some attractive bloke with no brains."

Sirius and Peter on Remus's other side exchanged a meaningful look. Frank didn't see it until Remus started chanting the word "no" and shaking his head vigorously.

"Frank, mate," Peter said, his large buck teeth protruding from his smirk, "I think it's time you actually met James Potter. Then you'll know."

"Know what?" Frank asked, clueless. All three boys laughed, even Remus, "Seriously guys, know what?"

"How obvious the solution to your problem is," Sirius told him, suddenly quite serious. Oh, sweet Merlin, it was too easy. "Now all we need is Amos Diggory, a bag full of galleons, and one badass James Potter."

**A/N: a little later than I had originally planned, but Chapter Two! Yay. Let me know if you see any changes from canon and I'll add a disclaimer in the next chapter because I'm far too lazy to look for them right now.**

**NEXT CHAPTER HAS JAMES! Ah, too excited, much too excited. So, yeah, stay tuned and all that. If you guys review, I might even reply with a preview of James. I might. Might. Oh, who am I kidding? I will. Promise. Unbreakable Vow.**

**Anyway, review. Oh, and I don't own The Wizarding World of Harry Potter or Ten Things I Hate About You. **


	3. Chapter 3

James smoked a cigarette on the Quidditch Pitch, like he did every free period he had since sixth year, high up on his broom. He could see everyone from up there, and they couldn't see him, which was brilliant. Sure, he may have changed his whole personality the summer after fifth year, but stupid gits like Bertha Jorkins didn't need to know why. Bleeding scumbags, the lot of them.

'Course, he could spot his friends walking to their tree by the Black Lake a mile away. Remus's way of walking in other people's shadows, Sirius's attention hogging stroll, and Peter's jumpy little trot. There was also a fourth person with them: the new boy, Frank Longbottom. Fifteen year old James would've felt threatened by the new kid who was friends with his friends and pulled off innocent mischief without care, but seventeen year old James didn't give two fucks what his peers thought of him and if his friends deserted him. He knew they never would.

"Potter," Amos Diggory's voice crooned in his ear. James inwardly jumped, but outwardly coolly turned his head to look at the boy who had silently flown up next to him. Damn Hufflepuff Seeker, always creeping around. "I've got a proposition for you," he continued.

James snorted and let his cigarette drop to the ground, watching it free fall all the way there. "I'm flattered, Diggory, really, but I have better things to do than favors for a Hugglepugg like you."

Diggory looked affronted at being called a Hugglepugg, but recovered smoothly with a forced smirk, flashing some of his shiny white teeth at James. He remained unimpressed, staring down at the asshole with that cool, even gaze that brought lesser men to their knees, but Diggory shouldered on, undeterred. All in a day's work.

"I want you to take out Lily Evans so that I can date Alice Prewett," Diggory said confidently. James looked at him in silence for a moment, not letting any emotion cross his face. Then he laughed, right in Dumbass-Diggory's face.

"Oh, sure, Sparky, whatever you say," James chuckled as he sped away to a new, quieter spot on the previously abandoned Quidditch Pitch. Unfortunately, Diggory followed him.

"Hear me out, Potter. I'm willing to pay you. In galleons," Diggory bribed, holding out a large, golden coin, true to his word.

James didn't need his money, and he'd already been on a date with Evans, but he'd changed since then and from what he heard, so had she. So, instead of doing nothing, James decided to play around with the pretty boy who was adored by everyone with a vagina.

"Alright, say that I take you up on this offer. That would be two galleons for a couple of butter-beers, right? And then maybe she'll want to go to Honeydukes and get some licorice wands and pumpkin pasties. That's up to about five galleons, because she'll want to buy some for her friends, and being the gentleman that I am, I oblige, obviously. After that, she'll want to go to Madame Puddifoot's place, and we'll buy some tea and biscuits. Seven galleons. Afterword, we're walking up to the castle, and she spots some pretty jewelry in a window. Twenty galleons there, maybe even a couple knuts when you add in tax, at the very least. Soon, things are getting pretty heavy, and I realize I need to buy a-" James counted off, making up the prices as he went before Diggory cut him off.

"Twenty galleons? Are you out of your bloody mind? This is isn't a negotiation thing, Potter," Diggory complained, thinking about how Sirius had only lent him ten galleons to start out with until he could owl his mum and make up and excuse.

"Fine, fourteen galleons."

"Ten."

"Great," James said with a grin, taking the sack of coins as Diggory handed them to him. They shook hands, and before Diggory's eyes, James saluted him and slipped off his broom, jumping to the ground a mile below.

By the time Diggory had processed what was happening and flew down to make sure he wouldn't get a detention for letting another student jump to his death, James was striding confidently away. He slid his wand back into his pocket where he had removed it sometime during the dive and levitated himself to a soft landing. Tricky bit of magic.

At the moment, James was stalking towards a pretty girl with red hair and soulless green eyes sitting under a large tree on the skirts of the lake.

"Heya, girly," James greeted, leaning against the trunk of the tree she was under, reading a book and periodically casting a charm that would cool her down with her wand. "How ya doin'?"

She looked up at him, slightly astonished because come on, this was James bloody Potter, and boys didn't approach her, not after what she did to Horace Clearwater. Although she still maintained that he kicked himself in the balls, everyone sort of knew the truth, oddly enough.

"Er, sweating like a pig. I assume you understand," she said awkwardly, scrambling for her wit. Lily stood up and placed her book about _Mythical Creatures and Where To Find Them_ back into her bag, just on the off chance that he could see down her shirt. James, if he had been aware of her thoughts, would've told her that it wasn't like it was anything he hadn't seen before. Besides, he couldn't see down it because she had it buttoned all the way up, so there.

"Calling me a pig, Evans? All right, I'll roll with that," James joked arrogantly, but Lily took notice that his swagger lacked the luster and sincerity it had had in fifth year. It wasn't really pure confidence. It was a mask. A mask made of concrete, not yet completely dry, and Lily could see through the cracks.

"Good, I was hoping everyone would catch on to my sexual innuendos about farm animals. Kudos on being the first, Potter. Hopefully, you won't be the last," Lily congratulated sarcastically. She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder, walking away a little faster than normal with the hope of losing him and being able to erase this whole experience from her memory forever. Asshole was defined and personified by James Potter.

"So, now that you and I are exchanging sex jokes, what do you say to you and me going to the welcome bad party in the Ravenclaw Common Room this Friday? I'll come and escort you and everything."

Lily laughed drily. "Right, yes, back to asking me out? Because that went so well last time," she said, stopping in her track to turn and look at him trailing behind her. She couldn't deny that she was attracted to him, what girl wouldn't be, but she was Lily Evans and she had a heart of stone and ice running through her veins. Okay?

He leaned down in her face, tucking a stand of hair behind her ear and whispered, "Evans, I could take you to places you've never been before."

"Come on," she laughed, really laughed, "where would that be? The Forbidden Forrest? How romantic, truly, but I have homework to do and I'm really busy with things like stabbing myself in the eye with a sugar quill. So thanks, but no thanks." With that, Lily indignantly stuck her chin in the air and trotted off to her Advanced Ancient Runes class, leaving James standing by himself, utterly shocked, and staring like an idiot after her.

True, it had taken him forever to agree to go out with him the first time, but now he knew what she liked and disliked. Or so he thought. He also thought it would be easy, but he was wrong on both counts. Apparently, Lily had changed after all.

A little bit away from where James now stood by himself, the Marauders and Frank hid in the bushes by the large oak tree. Frank groaned and dropped his head into his hands.

"Guys, I'm so screwed," he moaned. Peter patted him supportively on the arm and Sirius pulled at a few pieces of grass disinterestedly. He knew that James would do it.

Remus shook his head and said, "I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude, Frank! All is not lost! Diggory was stupid enough to bribe James, who doesn't even need the money but took the deal anyway, so there you go. Once James has his mind set on something, he's surprisingly stubborn about it. There's your bright side. Let me hear that positive outlook!"

Frank rolled his eyes at the motivational speech and said, satirically happy, "I'm so screwed!"

Sirius barked out a loud laugh, finally rejoining their conversation by ruffling Frank's short, curly hair. "That's more like it, mate!"

Their moment was abruptly ended by some disturbance in the bush and James popping his head over the fringe to stare at his friends in confusion. "Er, what are you lot doing hiding in the shrubbery?"

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On Friday:

Lily was flopped down on her pillow, hoarse from screaming into it, when Alice came up to get ready for bed early, seeing as she wasn't allowed to go to any parties unless she asked permission from her dad. He had said no, of course, because her bloody best mate wasn't going. Anyway, dinner had already come and gone without any sighting of Lily, and Alice supposed it was the nice thing to do to check on her, being the selfless friend that she was.

"Lils?" Alice asked cautiously, approaching her bed and sitting down beside her still form, "You all right?"

Lily said something but it was muffled by her pillow, so that Alice rolled her eyes and pushed it off as classic Lily behavior. But with her red hair all splayed out like that, Alice could only dream of what she would do if she had her friend's hair.

"You know, Lils, you have some definite potential buried under all of this hatred and hostility," Alice sang as she skipped off to the lavatory to take off her makeup. Lily sat up, appalled at the suggestion.

"I am not hostile," she defended quickly, shouting to Alice in the other room, "Marlene is hostile. I'm annoyed. With the world. Well, not the world specifically, but people in general."

Alice poked her head out of the doorway and smiled, still looking just as beautiful without the eyeliner and mascara and lipstick, but she would kill Lily if she ever mentioned that. "You could try being nice to people," Alice suggested like it was the obvious answer, "Maybe you won't be so annoyed if you don't write them off as soon as you meet them."

Lily scoffed and swung her legs off the bed, getting a little miffed now. She and Alice periodically had these spats over Lily's attitude, and it was always the same old song and dance. Lily countered, "Ah, but you forget, young and foolish Alice, I do not care what people think, so what's the point in being nice to them?"

"Yes, you do care. Everyone cares."

"No, I don't!" Lily said, a little too forcefully, marching into the bathroom to argue with Alice face to face as the other girl brushed her teeth. Lily let her words ring for a moment as Alice spat out the toothpaste and felt her hard words soften. "You don't always have to be what they want you to be, Al. If they really like you for who you are, you know who to trust and who not to trust."

"We can't all be Lily Evans. How is that being yourself working out for you, might I ask?" Alice teased light heartedly, knowing it wouldn't hurt Lily. It didn't. Lily wasn't sure if anything could hurt her anymore.

Suddenly, Lily took notice in the pearl necklace hanging around Alice's delicate neck. "Where'd you get the pearls, Alice?"

"Amos bought them for me. Isn't he the sweetest?" she crooned, stroking them lovingly before pulling off her skirt and slipping on her short pajama bottoms.

"Alice, I don't think it's smart to-"

"Godric, Lily, you aren't my mother! I know you feel bad that I have one parent and you have two, but that doesn't give you the right to boss me around! Have some fun, stop worrying about every little detail, and stop being such a bitch. Be my friend, not my parent!" Alice snapped suddenly, storming past Lily who stood with her jaw wide open in surprise as she watched Alice climb into her four poster bed and give her one last dirty look before slamming the curtains closed.

When Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary trooped in an hour later, giggling from the effects of the alcohol provided to them at the Ravenclaw welcome back party, they were met with two closed off beds, containing two pissed off teenage girls. Tomorrow was Saturday, though, and Lily and Alice never held grudges for long.

**A/N: Three is done! Huzzah! Now that we've met James, what are the opinions? Good? Bad? I should go shove my face in a cheese grater for even pretending I could write James Potter?**

**okay.**

**Don't own Ten Things I Hate About you or any lines you recognize and the obvious plot theft I am committing is irrelevant, nor do I own the characters from the Harry Potter Universe. **

**Good day.**


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, a Saturday without any classes, rang true their thoughts. Lily and Alice whispered quickly between each other as they ate their breakfasts. The first Hogsmeade weekend was now only two weeks away, and Lily still refused to go on a single damn date for Alice. Of course, Alice was rather persistent about it, and Lily continually shot her down, making Alice more persistent and Lily more annoyed.

"How about Garrett Hightower? He's a great keeper for Ravenclaw," Alice pointed to the muscled blonde who looked to be falling asleep into his eggs. Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust at the boy who appeared to be half-troll.

"I caught him checking out my bum once. I hexed him."

"…okay, what about Trevor Engleman? I've heard he's ace at Herbology."

"Hexed him, too."

"Is there anyone you haven't hexed?" Alice asked in exasperation, throwing her hands up into the air. Lily shrugged vaguely and avoided eye contact because she honestly couldn't even think of one.

"Greetings and salutations, ladies," James said huskily, sliding into the seat across from Lily and giving her a look that he knew would melt her panties off. It didn't, of course. However, Alice seemed to take the hint that she was intruding on some greater plan, and stood up excitedly, suddenly all to ready to go hang out at the Black Lake and tan for a bit.

"Er, Marlene, are you ready to go? I'm stuffed," Alice announced, grabbing the blonde haired beauty by the upper arm and tugging her away from the bacon she was desperately reaching for. Marlene's complaints could be heard all the way out of the Great Hall.

"Wow, you look fit today, Evans. I'm liking the Beatles as well," James complimented, taking note of her t-shirt, despite Lily's unresponsiveness to his earlier comment. In truth, he wasn't sure if the Beatles were a band or a bug.

"Are you stalking me now or something?" Lily sniffed haughtily, rolling her indifferent green eyes and twisting her hair up into a bun at the top of her head effortlessly.

"I was just sitting a few seats down." he pointed to his mates who all looked away quickly when Lily glanced in their direction and attempted to act casual. Sirius began to copy one of Remus's essays, Remus pretended to laugh at a joke that Peter hadn't said, and Frank tried to eat a piece of toast a little too fast and ended up choking. Peter thumped him soundly on the back and waved inconspicuously at Lily.

"Well, could you go back?" Lily asked bluntly, unconvinced by James's friends, and took a bite of her biscuit morosely.

James raised his eyebrows and leaned across the table, pushing up his glasses. He hadn't been lying when he said she looked really fit. Maybe seeing her in Muggle clothes was a turn on, but whatever it was, he was pretty sure Lily could wear a trash bag and look sexy. Not like he would actively admit that in front of a court of law or anything. Or even his mates, really. James wasn't one to share secrets, but then again, he had never been one to have any.

"You're not afraid of me are you? That's kind of hot, the whole into danger bit." James smirked at her, ruffling up his hair a bit and wishing he had a cigarette to smoke more than anything.

"Afraid of you?" Lily laughed in disbelief. "Why would _I_ be afraid of _you_? Shouldn't _you _be afraid of _me_?"

"Could you take a bloody compliment?" James snarled, buttering some toast a little too viciously, but he obviously couldn't reach across the table and throttle her like he wanted to. Damn, he hoped she was worth ten galleons. Better be one hell of a snog.

"Sorry that my t-shirts and your sexual preferences don't whip me into a frenzy," Lily apologized, not really sounding sorry at all. "Here, let me give it another go. Oh, darling Potter, my heart yearns for you, I ache for you, oh baby, oh baby."

She got up and turned to leave when she was met with an immovable force that was Amos Diggory. Lily put her hands on her hips and spat out," Out of my way, asshole. Are you guys having a top secret prick convention or something?"

"Sorry, didn't quite catch that," Diggory sneered arrogantly. James felt anger stir inside of him like a roaring monster. Maybe Lily did have a point in hating him.

Lily crossed her arms and James could almost see the annoyance coming off of her in waves of hatred. She said, saccharinely sweet, "You didn't hear me? All right, I'll tell you again."

She reeled her fist back and punched him square in the nose.

All noise ceased as everyone in the Great Hall turned around in their seats to watch James Potter laugh at the sight of Lily Evans rubbing her knuckles with a victorious grin and Amos Diggory, rolling on the floor and screaming in pain from his probably very broken nose. It was a solid punch.

"You bitch!" Diggory shouted at her, holding his nose as blood dripped through his fingers.

This brought on even more laughter from James, who was now smacking the table with his fist and attempting to gather breath through his giggles.

Lily leaned over his incapacitated form, leering. "Oops," she said, and James burst into another round of uncontrollable guffaws as McGonagall stomped towards the scene and dragged Lily away from her victim and into the professor's office.

"Come now, Potter," McGonagall shouted, her voice filled with rage as she turned around to glare at James whose laughter had been sufficiently silenced. He jumped off the bench suavely and loped over to the two intimidating women as they continued the march up to McGonagall's office. James and Lily shot each other glances behind the angry professor's back. Lily looked proud; James was still on the verge of busting out into laughter.

"Sit down, you two. Now," McGonagall snapped, closing her door and ushering them into the two seats in front of her organized desk. "Potter," she began venomously, "I've had it up to here with your shenanigans. Ten points from Gryffindor for your rude behavior and example of how a leader _shouldn't_ act. You're Captain of the Quidditch team!" James refused to meet her eyes, and found a spot on his shoe that he deemed very interesting while McGonagall turned her eyes to Lily.

"'Oops', Miss Evans? 'Oops'? I will not tolerate an excuse such as 'oops, Miss Evans. I admit that I was surprised when Professor Dumbledore did not make you Head Girl this year, but now I can see why! You have absolutely no control over your actions and no sense of responsibility for others! Forty points from Gryffindor for your need to act so, so-" McGonagall grasped for words in her fury, her voice going hoarse from her shouting. She paced the length of her office as she attempted to reprimand one of her favorite students.

"Impudent?" Lily suggested, slouching low in her chair and pouting grumpily. This wasn't the first time in the last couple of years that she had been in trouble with McGonagall, but this was the first time McGonagall had actually yelled at her.

"Actually, the term used most often by your victims is 'hateful bitch'," McGonagall corrected, her eyes hard and her lips pursed as Lily felt her jaw drop open for the second time in twenty-four hours. She was rendered utterly speechless. "I am not going to give you a detention, Miss Evans, because I rather like your spunk. However, the next time you pull a stunt like this, it will be weeks worth of the stuff. Now go! I don't want to see either of you for the rest of the day!"

James strolled out of the office leisurely, not even bothering to bid Lily a goodbye, but it didn't really matter because Lily took the words to heart and scrambled out of her head-of-house's office, running until she reached the Black Lake. She leaned over, her hands on her knees she regained her breath. _You're way out of shape, Lily_, she thought to herself. Alice, Marlene, and Dorcas were all laying spread eagled in the sun, wearing tiny shorts and tank-tops, attempting to soak up brown skin. Lily couldn't actually tan; she either just burned or got more freckles.

Alice sat up as Lily approached them sluggishly, and let her sunglasses slide down her nose to get a good look. "I heard," Alice started, her voice cold, "That you maimed Amos's face."

Lily let her heartbeat return to a normal pace before she thought it safe to answer. "Yes," she said, rather proudly, "I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not. Looks like you'll just have to deal with an ugly asshole instead of a pretty one."

"Has the fact that you're completely psycho managed to escape your attention?" Marlene asked snootily, sticking her nose up in the air as Lily flopped down next to her and opened up a book.

Lily smiled almost sincerely at her and said, "Heavens no, Marlene, not when I have you to remind me all the time. Cheers."

888

James and Sirius were walking to Transfiguration, heads bent low together as they plotted their latest prank against the first year Slytherins, when Amos Diggory sidled up in front of them in the middle of the corridor. Sirius glared at him in disgust for a moment before James twitched his finger, just slightly, but it caught Sirius's attention and let him know that he would be fine if Sirius left.

"When I give you ten galleons, Potter, I didn't think you would just sit there and let the bitch hit me the face. I guess I expected, oh, I don't know, for you to actually _DO YOUR SHIT_!" Diggory yelled as Sirius turned around the corner. The skin just under his eyes was now black with bruises, but his nose looked to be perfect and straight once more. James hoped that Madame Pompfrey left him the bruises to punish him for being a wanker. Godric knows Diggory needed that punch.

"I'm not your fucking bodyguard, Diggory. Besides, I'm working on it. It's not like Evans is some tart that goes around handing out blow jobs, get me?" James growled, cleaning off his glasses angrily so that he couldn't see Diggory's stupid face. "By the way," James added, "I've just upped my price."

The look on his face when James finally shoved his glasses back on was priceless. "What?" Diggory cried as his face paled and made his bruised eyes even more prominent. "What for? You haven't even taken her out yet!"

James shrugged and ruffled his hair. "Ten galleons a date," he ordered. Maybe he could buy a flat of his own after Hogwarts with all of this money he would get off of taking Evans on dates. "In advance," he tacked on sagely.

Diggory shook his head as he struggled to regain his voice. "Forget it, Potter. We're sticking with the original price."

"Forget getting laid by Alice Prewett then, aye, mate? Not a chance in hell," James smiled sadistically. He could see Diggory's little mind working, the hamster running faster in its wheel. His poor brain was much out of use. However, no matter how dumb the Hufflepuff was, he could put two and two together. Alice Prewett came with a hefty price.

"You better be as smooth as they say you are, Potter," Diggory grumbled, digging around in his pockets. James wasn't sure who 'they' were, but then again, he didn't care. Ignorance and apathy were all in the same.

James walked to Transfiguration ten galleons richer and received five points for making the bubble charm on the first try. Life was good.

888

Quidditch try outs were always the end of the first month of school, and James wanted to have them as early as possible. Putting them on the day before Hogsmeade was actually a fantastic idea, when you put it into retrospect. All of the guys wanted to impress their dates by making the team and all of the desperate girls wanted to be asked out by Quidditch players.

This year, all James needed was a seeker and a keeper. Marlene McKinnon and Sirius were his beaters, and Conrad Brown and Kelly Dawson were his fellow chasers. They had all been on the team together since fourth year, (third year for Brown and Dawson) and worked together like a well trained aurors.

Finding a keeper was easy enough, Penelope McLaren, but for seekers: nothing. The only people that had bothered to try out for seekers were second through fifth year girls from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff who had only come because they heard that Sirius and James were going to be shirtless. The only Gryffindor that had tried out had never ridden a broom and had cried when James shouted at him to get higher off the ground than three feet. It turned out the Charles Powell was a first year who had gotten lost on the way to Herbology. Finally, James just called it a day and the try outs ended with the team still seeker-less.

Everyone else on the team showered and changed, but not even Sirius could get James out of his funk, so they left him alone in the changing room. When Frank and Peter found him, he was laying on a bench that sat in front of the team's separate designated cubby holes, throwing up a quaffle in the air and catching it just before it hit his chest absentmindedly.

Every Tuesday and Thursday from seven until ten at night, Frank tutored Alice in Potions over material that he wasn't even sure of himself. Every Tuesday and Thursday from seven to ten until night, Alice forgot his name, flirted with Frank until he gave her the answers, and had actually fallen asleep almost every tutoring session she bothered to show up for. Finally, Frank decided that he had had enough. It was time to let James know that he would be working for him now. All he had to do was tell him. Quite a simple act in Frank's head. Once it came down to it, however, Frank was still petrified of James. He was too… too… unapproachable. Plus he had heard rumors. One in particular scared him the most. The story goes that there had been a fifth Marauder once, a muggle. He had insulted James or something, and James had just killed him. Avada Kedavra. Remus and Sirius and Peter all vehemently denied it, Sirius in particular, and Frank knew it was a little farfetched to think his dorm mated had actually killed someone, but still.

"Go talk to him," Peter hissed, snapping Frank out of his state and shoving him slightly forward.

"No, you do it! You're the one who's known him for seven years, Pete," Frank mumbled back, his stomach dropping to his toes.

"Oi, what do you gits want?" James demanded furiously, alerted by their heated whispers that they were present and he sounded pissed.

"We know what you're trying to do with Lily Evans," Frank declared suddenly. His mother always said that he only needed thirty seconds of bravery. Only thirty. Besides, he was a Gryffindor. He had an extra ten seconds of bravery built in him by default.

James smirked easily at him and sat up, leaning his head back against the lockers. "Yeah, Frankie? What are you going to do about it? Nag me to death?"

"No," said Frank defensively, "we're going to help you out."

James laughed and threw the quaffle lightly at Frank's head, and he actually managed to catch it. He had twenty seconds of bravery left, after all. Slightly impressed, James began to undress from his Quidditch robes, hoping to make them so uncomfortable that they would leave him alone.

Peter squeaked, "Frank fancies Alice, but his love isn't impure like Amos Diggory's, see. But he still wants to date her."

James chortled and threw a snitch (that he hadn't taken out of his cubby since fifth year) at Frank with all his might. Frank still caught it. Fifteen seconds. James was much more than slightly impressed, this kid might be the real deal. He had to see him fly.

"That right, Wormtail? What's with Alice all of the sudden? 'She working street corners without daddy dearest knowing or something?" James asked rudely, for the sheer purpose of getting Frank in a tizzy. If anyone, James knew that the separation from a skilled Quidditch player from an average Quidditch was passion.

"OI!" yelled Frank, predictably. As Peter held him back, he counted down to ten seconds in his head.

"Look," James said, leaning in for the kill, "I'm just in the money. Diggory can bang whoever he wants, like I give a shit."

Frank was suddenly right in front of him, the veins in his neck popping out and his face turning a bright puce color in his anger. "Diggory isn't going to bang anyone, especially Alice. Get me, Potter?"

There went his final five seconds. He hoped it was worth it as Peter dragged him away from the messy haired tosser. James struggled to hide his grin. This guy need to be his seeker.

"James- Prongs, we have a confession. We gave Diggory the idea to bribe you to date Lily. We even gave him the first ten galleons. The rest of the money is his though, don't worry. We did it all so that Frank could get with Alice, not Diggory! He's just a pawn!" Peter said proudly, like he had come up with the plan all by himself. James pulled a t-shirt over his head and eyed the pair of misfits doubtfully.

"So," James said, gesturing to the both of them with his hands, "you're telling me that you two are willing to make sure I get Lily to go out with me before tomorrow? You're going to give me her likes and dislikes and everything I need to know about her? Like if she actually did get checked into St. Mungo's for being a sociopath, for example. That's what you two are going to do. _You two_. Really?"

"Yep," beamed Peter, "we're your guys! Along with Remus," he added, slinging an arm over Frank's shoulder, who inconspicuously shrugged him off. James smiled sympathetically at him.

"You know, it a completely platonic way," Frank scrambled, eyeing Peter warily, his nose slightly wrinkled. James grabbed him around the shoulder and pushed him through the changing room door with a hearty laugh. His spirits were a thousand times higher than they had been merely five minutes ago.

"Say, Frank, you don't have a broom by any chance, do you? I have got to see you fly."

**Hola.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ten Things I Hate About You or Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for your reviews! I hope you like this chapter, even if it's not that funny. More of a filler chapter than anything, to be honest. **

**Review and I'll send the preview of the next chapter! I only have one word: Hogsmeade. **

**SUSPENSE!**


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, everyone was buzzing about Gryffindor's newest Seeker. The new kid? What was his name? Talltrouser? Something like that. He must've been spectacular, for Potter to recruit him even though he wasn't at tryouts.

At breakfast, however, Frank was still invisible. No one could put the name with the face. Hell, most of the gossipers didn't even have his name. Alice plopped down in the seat next to him just as he was shoveling some eggs into his mouth and he nearly spewed them out in surprise.

"Anything progressing on the Lily front?" Alice asked, braiding her hair back into a short plait, ignoring Frank's frantic gasps for oxygen around the piece of poultry that lodged in his throat. Thankfully, Remus happened to walk by and thump him on the back and save dear Frank from death by breakfast food.

"I just need to know," Frank hissed out, his throat sore from choking, "what does Lily not like in a guy?" he attempted to smoothly lean his elbows on the table and accidently-on-purpose scoot closer to her. Instead he put his sleeve deep in, of course, _the eggs_. He quickly brushed them off his elbow before she noticed, but his dark red blush was enough to let the whole Hall know that he had just done something embarrassing. He pushed his plate away from him in disgust.

And yeah, he had let the owl out of the cage and told Alice what he was trying to do with Lily and James. And yeah, he had asked her out. Sure, she had laughed in his face. But that was last week, and she had barely known him then!

"Er, everything. She hates all guys," Alice reminded him like he was an idiot. Frank nodded and ignored her superior air around him like always.

"Yeah, but if she was to date someone, theoretically, what would she avoid in a guy?"

She thought about it for a minute before it hit her. Frank could see it on her face, the way her eyes lit up and her cheeks colored a light pink. "I got it," she announced, but Frank knew that already. "I mean, we don't really talk about boys much, because there isn't a lot to talk about, but I remember that she said once that she would never date a guy who smokes."

"Okay," Frank acknowledged, "what else?"

Alice looked shocked and a little bit affronted. "You're asking me to investigate the inner workings of my best friend's twisted mind? Yeah, right. Have you met Lily?"

"Well, I guess the smoking thing will do for now," Frank conceded, watching her lips purse and pout slightly.

"So, I heard you're Seeker," she said sweetly, altering the conversation entirely, grabbing his goblet and taking a tiny sip of his pumpkin juice. "Congratulations. Maybe you and Amos could talk at the Three Broomsticks. Everyone always meets there before we go back up to school for the day. It's fun. Have a couple of firewhiskeys, dance. It's just one big party."

Frank stuttered out a promise that he would be there and was rewarded with an ear-to-ear grin from Alice. "Good, Frank, great! I'll see you there." she even kissed him on the cheek. "Oh, and wait," she said, leaning down to whisper in his ear and letting her voice drop a few octaves just to mess with him, "I do know that she has some black lace knickers. See ya!"

Frank cupped his hand over his kissed cheek in disbelief. That quite possibly ranked in the top ten best moments of his life. Maybe even top five. She had even remembered his name and hadn't called him Fredrick like she had on Thursday night while they were studying Potions. He was so wrapped up in thoughts of Alice that he barely felt any confusion as to why she Alice would tell him Evans had lace underwear. Almost.

Alice felt someone tap her on the shoulder on her way out the Great Hall and she turned to find Amos Diggory in front of her. Her stomach began fluttering in spite of itself and she couldn't stop smiling.

"I need your opinion, love. Witch Weekly took two photographs, one in a black shirt, and one in the white. I like them both, but which one do you think?" Amos held up the photos in front of his face. Alice frowned at them both. In the identical pictures, he was kissing his biceps and winking at the camera. The only difference was the color of his t-shirt.

"Uh, the white? You look pretty pensive, I guess," Alice suggested uncertainly.

"Fuck it, I was going for deep and thoughtful," he said, and if it was anyone else, Alice would have laughed. However, she wasn't sure Amos was joking. "You're going to Hogsmeade today, right?"

Alice nodded her head vigorously. "Of course."

Amos smiled a thousand-watt smile at her. "Good, I wasn't even going to bother showing up if you weren't there. Everyone else bores me, but you're fun and exciting and beautiful, and I know we can't date until Evans does, but I want to say that I'm looking forward to our first official date," Amos said cunningly, brushing a strand of hair that had escaped Alice's plait back behind her ear. She blushed, bashful and unused to being showered with so much praise. Of course, Amos didn't really mean it, and he was totally checking out her ass as she walked away.

Frank stared up wearily at the Hogshead; it's boarded up windows and run down aura not feeling very welcoming. Of course, he was with Remus, who walked in like it was nothing more than Madame Puddifoot's.

James was sitting with his back to them, though he was easily discernible by his mop of hair. He was nursing a dark amber liquid in a dirty mug and smoking a cigarette. In fact, the whole bar was filled with cigarette smoke, mostly originating from the burly men with long beards that all stared at Frank and Remus as they intruded on the tough sanctuary with their childish flannel and muggle jeans. They really didn't belong, and it made Frank nervous.

They made a beeline straight for James and sat on either side of him. Frank raised his hand to order a butterbeer, but Remus reached across James to slap the innocent boy's hand down.

"Don't touch anything here," Remus scolded him like a child, "you may get Dragon Pox."

"All right, gentlemen?" James drawled, sounding bored with them already. Or bored with life. It was hard to tell the difference with James. "What have you got for me?"

Frank smiled at him and James almost smiled back; the little twat's smile was contagious. "Well, I talked to Alice, and she said the one thing that Lily Evans hates was guys who smoke," he said gently, and Remus promptly plucked the cigarette out of James's hand. James stared at his now empty fist, already missing the sweet taste of tobacco.

"So what, I'm a non-smoker now? Bugger it, the girl isn't worth that," James snarled, reaching for the cigarette, but Remus dropped it to the floor and ground it up under his shoe.

"Just for now, Prongs," Remus cautioned, holding up his hands in surrender.

"Also," Frank went on, "Alice said that Lily has black lace knickers. Dunno what that means, but…"

Remus shrugged as James looked between him and Frank. He laughed genuinely at their innocence. He envied it, in fact.

"Men, girls only buy black underwear if they want someone to see it," James told them with a sly grin. They nodded obediently.

"Right," Remus said, pretending like he knew the whole time, "that's what I told him. You know what, though? I have on good authority that Lily Evans is at Club Skunk right now. Some all girl band called the Weird Sisters are playing there."

James choked on his drink in disbelief. The faces of his friends lacked the joking smiles he vainly searched for and he groaned. "Club Skunk?" James asked, outraged. "I don't want to hear some odd birds that can't even play their instruments properly drone on about the incompetency of blokes and watch a bunch of dick hating feminists flail around! You're crazy. I'm not doing it."

"Potter," Frank whispered, trying to quiet James's loud protests because they were getting several strange looks from the other customers in the bar, "you just have to be a dick hating feminist who likes to listen to odd birds strangle a guitar for an hour, tops. Chill out, man."

And there James stood, less than twenty minutes later, in the belly of the Skunk Club or whatever they wanted to call it. He was so pissed that he was beyond caring at this point. All he focused on was a dancing ginger.

Lily was easy enough to spot; she was the best looking girl in the place. She was wearing a t-shirt, but this one was imprinted with the Weird Sisters insignia. Some girl tried to grind on him while he spied on her, but he pushed her away. Okay, he wasn't really spying on her, it was more like… watching. Still too creepy. He was _observing._ Yes, that was it. James was observing Lily in her natural element, and damn, she was beautiful. Not hot, not sexy, just purely gorgeous. He couldn't come out and say that, of course, he had already tried. Now he had a different approach. He made his way over to the bar, suddenly seeing Sirius mixing drinks and handing them out. James laughed at the sight and Sirius reflexively jerked his head to his best mate, smiling brightly.

"Prongs! A butterbeer? I assume you've already hit the hard stuff. What are you doing here?" Sirius asked in his rapid, non-existent attention span way.

"Hey, Padfoot," James greeted, letting his friend slide him the light brown frothy drink. "I'm just trying to-"

"Two waters," the demanding voice of Lily Evans interrupted his sentence. James cut off his words quickly and looked away, hoping she wouldn't notice him just yet.

Sirius handed her the order without making any eye contact, praying that she wouldn't catch sight of Prongs and destroy him right in front of his eyes. Unfortunately, as Lily turned to run back unto the mosh pit, she spotted the lanky, bespectacled boy that everyone around her had been wishing she wouldn't notice, casually drinking a butterbeer. She marched up to him angrily, not even caring that she had just left Alice out there to the dogs.

"If you're planning to ask me out again, Potter, you can forget it. I'm not interested," she said callously. He glared up at her, his dark hazel eyes flashing behind his glasses.

"Do you mind? I'm here to listen to the Weird Sisters. You're really being a buzz kill," he told her harshly. She was speechless for a moment. Sirius laughed at the exchange, but his attention was quickly drawn away to a couple of good looking girls who flashed him a couple of sickles for some water. In truth, Sirius was only doing this to buy his own flat. He didn't want to use the money he had inherited from his Uncle Alphard anymore. He wanted to make his own living, any way possible. If that meant taking odd jobs and doing little favors, by Merlin, that's what he would do.

"Really?" Lily felt herself looking a little too pleased, and toned it down a bit. "That's good, I suppose. Where's the cigarette, huh? It's usually glued to your hand," she yelled over the music.

James nodded and reached up to touch his hair. "I, uh, I quit. Found out it wasn't good for you after all. Shocking bit of news, let me tell you. Muggle products, not being good for your health? Who would have thought," he rambled, flashing her a smirk that would've made her stomach quiver with butterflies if she had any. Which she didn't, okay? She didn't feel warm in her toes and the tips of the ears when he laughed and most certainly didn't want to run her hands through his hair because it looked so bloody soft. She just didn't.

"These guys aren't The Runaways, but they aren't shit for an all girl wizarding band," James shouted, downing the bottom bit of his butterbeer and placing the empty glass back on the bar.

"You know Joan Jett?" Lily asked, unable to hide her smile now. Oh, that James Potter was getting inside her head. Snap out of it, Lily.

"Sirius keeps me up to date on all things muggle. They intrigue him," James said simply, waving to his best friend who was chatting up two sixth year Ravenclaws. When he went to put some money on the bar for payment, Sirius shook his head and pointed toward the mob of dancing women. James nodded and slipped through the clump of girls behind him, feeling Lily follow him closely. She looked up and saw him staring at her with an unidentifiable emotion on his face. "You know, I've never seen anyone so hot in my life," James screamed to be heard, but the song ended and everyone around him laughed. He messed up his hair nervously.

Lily laughed along with the crowd, unfazed and unembarrassed. Granted, she was laughing at his own misfortune, but he would make a joke of himself again and again if that's what made her happy. No, wait, he didn't mean that. Well, maybe he did, just a little bit.

"Go to the party in the Three Broomsticks with me?" he blurted, unable to control himself. Not coming up with any witty things to say in return, Lily smiled and waved goodbye as she slipped back into the crowd.

_Would it really be a date if we just showed up together?_ James thought to himself as he lost sight of Lily in the crowd of moving bodies.

"Godric, Frank, if I hear one more word from you about Alice, I'm going to scream," Remus moaned, pushing his head around his head in the dingy bathroom of the Three Broomsticks. "Should I wear it messed up or combed? How 'bout now? Does this look good?"

Remus was apparently having a mild panic attack, judging by his frantic tone and the way his hands were shaking. Frank scowled at him, and said, "You look like my mum with your hair combed that way? What's with the freak out? You're acting like you've never been to a party before."

Remus scoffed and rolled his eyes, adjusting his hair one last time before straightening up. "Of course I've been to a party before. I just haven't been to one when Rosmerta is there," he sighed, singing the seventh year Hufflepuff's name. She was pretty, Frank admitted to himself, but nowhere near as gorgeous as his Alice.

"Can we go now? The party has to have already started by now," Frank begged.

"Fine," Remus snapped, pushing past him and opening up the swinging door dramatically.

The party was already going. It was going loudly. People were screaming and dancing and drinking things that Frank could bet his life on wasn't butterbeer. He didn't bother keeping track of Remus or search for Peter. Alice was on his mind.

James held the door open for Lily, who didn't even thank him, and grabbed the hem of her t-shirt to keep from losing her. He got a few steps away from the door before he was suddenly and violently assaulted by a sixth year named Gretchen Eggers.

"Kiss me!" she screamed, very drunk, and very close to his face. James fixed his glasses and tossed her to Conrad Brown, fellow chaser, in one smooth movement.

"Kiss him," James ordered, already frantically searching for Lily who had slipped away.

"Darling Lily-flower," Lily heard the annoying voice of Amos Diggory and flinched. "Good to see you out from under your bridge, little troll."

Lily gasped and pointed to his forehead. "Merlin, is that a wrinkle? Uh-oh!" She rolled her eyes and walked away when he fell for it, but he blocked her path like an irritating boulder with legs.

"Is Alice here?" he asked, reaching an arm out to capture her against the wall. She shuddered and attempted to push him away, but her boulder theory rang true.

"Stay away from her, you creep," Lily growled warningly, still searching for said best friend. Amos smiled and allowed her to go too easily. She eyed him warily as he leaned forward.

"I can't promise you that she'll stay away from me, Evans," Amos smiled like a snake and Lily briefly wondered why he had been placed in Hufflepuff rather than Slytherin. Perhaps it was because of his stupidity.

James finally spotted her weaving through a tightly grinding group of people. "Lily! Thank Merlin, I've been looking all over for you, and-"

"Oi, Evans," Diggory's voice shouted over to her. Some of Lily's hair got in James's mouth with the speed in which she turned her head. "Look who found me!"

Alice was wrapped tightly around his arm, drinking a butterbeer and staring at Lily and James coolly. Lily started, staring at wide eyed at them as they began to walk away. She woke up enough to grab her best friend's arm. "Alice, wait. There's something I have to tell you," Lily said, but Alice cut her off before she could continue, yanking her arm rudely back out of Lily's grasp.

"Just go and enjoy yourself like I am, Lils. Live it up," Alice ordered, grabbing Amos by the arm and dragging him away, a coy smile on her full lips.

"Bastard," Lily muttered, throwing her hands up in the air. Sirius bounded up next to her and James, too hyper and too drunk. He sloppily hugged James and then his cup was ripped out of his hands before Sirius could even say hello.

"Evans? What the hell?" Sirius screamed desperately as she chugged all of his firewhiskey and handed the empty glass back to him. He stared down at it forlornly as she wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. Sirius briefly glanced at her with disgust before he roamed off in search of more alcohol.

James messed up his hair and pointed at her. "What is this?" he asked. She put her hands on her hips and waggled her head mockingly in what James assumed was an impression of Alice.

"I'm getting trashed. Live it up, right, man?"

He stared at her in disbelief. Lily Evans did not drink alcohol, and he had certainly never seen her break any rules.

"I say live however you want," James yelled back to be heard. She tapped him on the nose and hiccupped before waving and dancing away in search of more whiskey. James gazed at the spot she had just been with a mixture of disappointment and anger.

She was not who he had thought she was.

Peter slyly danced up to a group of sixth year girls, but once they noticed he was there, they quickly moved away. Remus laughed at his friend's futile womanizing ways, but Frank turned his head left and right in search of his crush. Remus noticed, finally, and laid a calming hand on his shoulder.

"Chill out, Frank," Remus shouted, using Frank's own words against him, "She'll turn up. Look, there she is."

Alice and her friend with the long, dark hair replaced the disgusted dancing girls. Alice was laughing hard at something the other girl had said, and Frank liked the way her hair shimmered and her eyes looked smoky. He approached her without noticing that his feet had even moved.

"Hey, Alice. You look great," he complimented. Her head named up and gazed into his eyes, blue and brown clashing. Frank didn't know it, but she was frantically searching for his name in her intoxicated state.

"Hey… Frank! Hey. Thanks," she said gratefully, her eyes softening as she looked at him. He wasn't hot, hell no, but he was cute, the way he followed her around like a lost puppy. She liked to play around with him. But it was time this little puppy grew up to be a big dog, and she shoved Dorcas in front of her like a human shield. Dorcas squealed loudly in protest. Alice ignored her and introduced, "Frank, do you know Dorcas Meadowes?"

Frank nodded, trying to see around Dorcas to Alice's face. "Yeah," Frank waved off absentmindedly, "we have Divination together."

Dorcas nodded awkwardly and averted her eyes. Sure, the new kid was alright looking, but it was Amos Diggory she had her eyes on tonight.

Speak of the devil. "Well, doesn't Frankie look amazing as well, girls? Congratulations on Gryffindor Seeker, by the way. Sure hope you aren't actually expecting to win any games, though. Everyone knows Potter is the only halfway decent player on Gryffindor," Amos sneered, steering Alice away. He gave Remus and him a thumbs up behind Alice's back, like Frank would be proud of Dumb-Fuck Diggory for stealing his girl. Dick head.

So this was it then. Alice turned to stare back at him, knowing his feelings would be hurt, but they were a little more than hurt. Frank felt like his heart was being ripped in half. Was this what heartbreak felt like? Honestly, this could be worse than going into labor, which he had heard his mum complain about plenty of times, and she only had one kid! Frank couldn't see straight. Who said that people couldn't die from heartbreak?

Those people were damn liars.

Alice wasn't really having the time of her life either. It turned out, Amos was actually quite boring. Very boring. In fact, all he wanted to talk about was himself, and all the modeling agencies that had been contacting him to join up with them full time after Hogwarts. After the fifteenth pose that Amos was supposedly going to do for his first bathing suit cover, Alice wandered off. Not like he noticed. Every time Alice got near him, a girl was clapping and begging he do more.

She passed by the Marauders, minus James and plus Frank, per usual, and she and Frank locked eyes. There was something that clicked for her, in that moment, no matter how horribly stupid it sounded. Maybe it wasn't alright to be playing him for a fool. He was a real person, with real feelings. And his hair was pretty fantastic. But she didn't go say hi, or sorry, or whatever the hell she wanted to go say, because in that moment, she saw she had broken Frank. She had hurt him bad.

She grabbed Marlene away from some boy she was chatting up and yelled in her ear, "Is it just me, or does this party suddenly really suck?"

James reached across the bar for his butterbeer when he felt his jacket collar being tugged backwards. It was Conrad Brown, but he could barely around Gretchen Eggers.

"Really, dude, thanks," Conrad yelled, slightly muffled by Gretchen's tongue. James clapped him on the shoulder and shook his hand.

"No problem."

Lily suddenly popped up, grabbing a firewhiskey from a random fifth year and gulping it down greedily. James ran after her, pushing people roughly out of his way.

"I think I'll take this one, Lily," James shouted, reaching for the half empty mug in her hand, but she jerked away. She placed a smooth palm over his entire face to quiet him from saying anything else.

"No, James, this is mine! Go get your own, you overgrown toe-rag," she slurred childishly. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before realizing she was getting away again.

"Don't you think you should slow down a bit?" he said, trying to grab her by the elbow. She pushed him away again, draining the last bit of the drink and climbing up onto the nearest table.

James had been to muggle clubs with Sirius during the summer, and he knew that the strippers danced pretty provocatively, but he didn't know where Lily had learned how to dance like them. After the initial surprise, he realized it was actually really sexy. That was, until people starting hooting cat calling and it became a bit embarrassing. Actually, the only person who was embarrassed was James because he was fairly certain that Lily had gone past drunk and created her own term of intoxication. Maybe it was because she was so tiny, but a couple of firewhiskeys could apparently cause some alcohol poisoning to go straight for her dignity.

James attention was snapped back to the dancing Lily when she cracked her head against the low hanging chandelier and dropped into his waiting arms. He dragged the rest of her body off the table and set her on her feet.

"I think you've had enough," he decided, letting go of her arms only to have to catch her again before she fell.

"James," she grabbed his shirt sloppily as he struggled to drag her through the crowd of people towards the door, "I'm just going to go lay down. I'm tired."

He readjusted her and grabbed her cheeks, forcing her to look into his eyes. The usually bright and aware green eyes were dull, cloudy, and bloodshot. James shook his head. "Not if you're possibly concussed. Just sit down right here while I figure out what to do," he ordered, placing her down on in one of the patio chairs outside in the slightly chilly early October night air. She slouched over herself a little, and James placed one of his hands on the back of her neck just in case she puked and then choked on her own vomit.

Even completely smashed she was rather striking.

James felt someone tap his shoulder and whirled around to face his new Seeker, looking distraught. "Not now, Frank, it's not a good time," James dismissed him, snapping his fingers under Lily's nose to keep her awake.

"James, I really gotta talk to you," Frank begged, grabbing him by the elbow and dragging him away with a surprising amount of force for such a little guy. James yanked himself away, glaring at him to continue what was so important. He kept his head turned just so he could keep one eye on Lily and the other on Frank. "The deal is off. You don't have to bother with the shrew anymore. Suddenly, I've seen the light."

Frank's bitter tone surprised James. "What?" James asked, his ears still ringing from the party, "You don't like Alice anymore? Funny, I thought you fancied her with purity or something."

Frank snorted and rolled his eyes, "Yeah, well it turns out she was only interested in Amos Diggory, so that was great. Good day overall. Anyway, it doesn't matter. She's just a girl."

James could've told Frank that Alice wasn't ever interested in him, but why kill the poor kid's hope even further? Time for a pep talk. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lily slump over a little in her chair. He took Frank by the shoulders and accidentally shook him a bit in his haste.

"Listen, Frank, I've known Diggory for seven years, and I've only known you for a month, but I'd say you're twice the man Diggory could ever hope to be. You're loyal and brave and exactly what people look for in a friend or boyfriend or whatever," James rushed out quickly, glancing over his shoulder at Lily concernedly all the while, "Do you really like this girl?"

Frank shrugged his shoulders, looking like a five year old who had his puppy taken away from him and said, "I thought I did. Now, I'm just not sure."

"You better get sure, Longbottom," James commanded in his Captain Voice, "because I know that if you like someone, you can't give up. No matter what happens, be sure that you try your damned hardest to be the better man."

Frank nodded his head weakly as James searched his eyes for a moment. Slapping him good heartedly on the cheeks, James turned around, picked up Lily, and guided her away from the bar as she complained how untidy his hair was.

When they were a ways away from the village, Lily demanded that they stop and stick their feet in the water of the Black Lake. Well, actually she demanded they go skinny dipping, but James compromised with just letting her feet dangle into the water. He had to stand behind her so she didn't fall in or fall backwards onto the hard ground. They sat for a minute or two- Lily sat, James stood- before Lily wound her arm around James's leg and leaned her head back to look up at him.

"Why are you doing this for me, Potter?" she asked innocently. He couldn't help but smile down at her, but she had closed her eyes briefly and missed it.

"What do you mean? Making sure you don't drown in the lake? I thought that was just a general code of humanity," he joked, and she actually laughed.

"No, moron," she gasped, and James rolled his eyes at how even when she was intoxicated, she was able to insult him, "why are you suddenly showing interest in me again?"

He couldn't very well say that a dickhead and a transfer student wanted to get with her best friend and had bribed him to talk to her, so he didn't say anything at all. Lily didn't seem to mind, because she just rambled on.

"I mean, it was all very weird. After our dramatic date at the end of fifth year, we just never really talked again. And then you came back from summer and you weren't James Potter. What happened to you? You stopped hanging out with your friends and pulling pranks and I saw you in classes less and less. It was just odd. And then you never asked me out again until just now. Not that I mind, you are most…" Lily interrupted herself with a loud snore. James, who had been previously listening to her pour out her thoughts with a light smile on face, jumped into action.

He squatted down next to her, snapping his fingers under her nose like he had done before and chanting her name repeatedly. He even slapped her cheek a few times, lightly of course, but to no avail. Finally, he mumbled, "Aguamenti," and let the freezing water splash over her head.

She came to life, gasping for breath and blinking water out of her eyes. James brushed some of her wet hair back, pulling her to her feet. Once standing, she refused to let go of his hand and got extremely close to his face.

"James," she said, wonderment in her voice, "did you know that you have a bit of gold in your eyes? Remarkable."

He felt the corners of his mouth turn up of their own accord. Just when he thought she was going to lean up and kiss him, she turned back down to the ground and threw up all over the his dragon hide motorcycle boots that Sirius had given him for his sixteenth birthday. He groaned, disgusted, and whipped out his wand to scourgify them. "Not cool, Lily, not cool," he muttered. She giggled into her hand and pressed her face into his chest.

He barely heard her say; "You had ugly shoes, anyway." it was funny though, so he laughed.

"Come on, Flower," he prodded, pushing her toward the castle. She stopped suddenly, just enough so that he crashed into her. When he leaned down to check if she was sleeping again, he saw her eyes fixated on the castle, seeing nothing.

"I should do that," she said, pointing at Hogwarts. He smiled and shrugged an arm over her shoulder.

"Be a teacher?"

"No, build castles," she sneered, but he laughed it off. "Yes, I'd be a teacher. Oh, my sister would hate that. It used to be Sev and I's dream, to be teachers together. I could do Potions and he could do Defense Against the Dark Arts. That's all gone down the toilet now, seeing as he's working for the Dark Arts. Kind of counter-productive."

James steered her toward the gates, nodding his head as she rambled off again. He chose to ignore the tidbit about Snape, but grasped the bitterness when she talked about her sister. He didn't know she had a sister. "Your sister would hate that you were a teacher? Why?" he asked, to keep her talking. Her words were becoming less and less slurred as by the minute, and making her brain work was helping ease off the hangover she would have in the morning.

"No, I'm sure she'd be delighted if I became a teacher. I'd be gone all year round," Lily said in a fake girlish voice. "Petunia just hates all things magical, including me. Actually, especially me. So, mostly I just spend my summers with Alice and her dad, and they're great and all, but I just want my sister to want to be seen in public with me, you know? Alice's dad, I'm not really sure if this is a compliment or not, acts like I'm the Virgin Mary because I don't date, so he made that dumb rule for Alice and I feel bad but boys suck. Really, I'm protecting her from the stupider gender."

James looked down at her in surprise. From talking to other people about Lily, the only things they knew about her were that she was muggleborn, her best friend was Alice, and she was scary. Maybe if they knew this side of her, they would like her as much as he did. That's great, Lily. It really is," he praised her. She closed her eyes and smiled peacefully, and her long eyelashes brushed her pale cheeks. She didn't wear a lot of makeup, he noticed.

"You really messed me up, you know," Lily said in a small voice, looking anywhere but James, "When you rejected me after that date. You pushed me away when I tried to kiss you, remember? I thought for sure all men hated me. I thought I was ugly. Like, somehow in my fifteen year old logic, I just assumed I was unlovable. Dumb, I know."

James stopped and looked at her full in the face. His head hurt when she opened up like that, and it was so unexpected when she did it.

"If there is one thing you aren't, it's ugly, Lily. Don't let pain in the asses like me tell you otherwise. You're pretty," he promised, grabbing her hand and lacing it with his. Lily stared at it, dumbfounded that she was holding hands with James Potter.

"James, you aren't as vile as I thought you were," she informed him, closing her eyes and standing up on her toes for him to kiss her. He almost did, too, but he got closer and smelled the spicy scent of whiskey on her breath. If he was going to kiss her, he wanted her to be really sober. He wanted to blow all other kisses she had ever had out of the water. Lily _needed_ an earth-shattering, soul-breaking kiss.

"Maybe we shouldn't," James said as kindly as possible, but it was fifth year all over again for Lily. He saw it in her eyes as they snapped open with sudden clarity, glaring sharply at him. Behind the anger there was vulnerability. Then the curtain went down and the shrew was back.

"Asshole," she snarled, jerking herself away from him and running toward the castle. He could only stare after her in regret. It wasn't like he was going to run after her. He would see her tomorrow. She had to talk to him then. She had to.

**A/N: Well, it's been a sort of long time, I guess. Here's an extra long chapter for your troubles. The rest of the Hogsmeade trip will be revealed in the next chapter, but I really like how this one turned out. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Ten Things I Hate About You **

**Review for preview of next chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6

"Dorcas, please! Let's go," Alice begged, yanking on her friends arm. Dorcas pulled away from her, giving her the dirtiest look she could muster. Obviously, Dorcas was still a little miffed at Alice for the whole Frank thing, but couldn't she see that Alice wanted to leave?

"Alice, are you coming with us to the Shrieking Shack or are you too chicken?" Amos teased, grabbing her hand and pulling her with him to the group of students that were going on the excursion to the shack, Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary among them. Lily was nowhere to be found.

"I'm not chicken," Alice snapped rudely, "I just don't want to go with you."

Amos lost his smirk as he quickly turned red with fury. Girls just don't turn down guys like him, ever. Especially not stupid virgins like Alice Prewett. He angrily tossed her away from him, and she landed harshly on her rear end. She looked up at her roommates, blinking back tears of embarrassment and pain, but no one came to her aid. Alice could hear their laughter ringing in her ears as she ran away.

It felt colder than it had two minutes ago on the way back to the castle, but that might have been because Alice felt cold inside as tears streamed down her cheeks and she hugged herself tightly. She saw a figure walking by Zonko's, obviously heading back as well. She hurried to catch up, just because she really didn't want to be alone the whole walk there. Her heart dropped down to somewhere in her stomach region when the person turned and she saw he was Frank Longbottom. Of course it was him, of course.

"Hi," she whispered demurely despite herself, swiftly scrubbing the tears off her face, "will you walk with me?"

He didn't say anything, clenching his jaw furiously instead, and stared straight ahead of himself. She looked down at the ground awkwardly, unsure of whether to apologize or talk about Potions or say anything at all. Alice was unsure of everything.

Finally, Frank broke the silence, and said, "You never had any intention of going to Hogsmeade with me, ever, did you? I mean, when I told you about Lily and James and you said that you'd go out with anybody who worked that out, you didn't mean it?"

He phrased it like a question, but it was more of a statement. She was shocked that he would deliberately call her out on something so trivial like that when she was obviously in a state. Was everyone being insensitive tonight?

"Yes," she declared defensively, "I did mean it."

He smiled sardonically at her, and his usually warm brown eyes were black holes in the cold night. "You're lying."

"Well, no, I wasn't thinking along the lines that you were thinking, but…" she tried to say feeling a little bit guilty now, but he cut her off, his tone furious and his eyes blazing.

"That's all you had to say, Alice. All you had to say was that you wanted to date someone else," he shouted into the still quiet, "Godric, have you always been this selfish?"

Alice blinked back yet more tears and whispered, "Yes." Frank didn't hear her or he didn't care, it was hard to tell.

"Look, Alice," he said forcefully, still not looking at her directly. Alice wondered if it was easier or harder that way, unable to tell if someone is hurting or if someone just wants to hurt you. "Just because you're beautiful doesn't mean that you can play with my feelings and other people's feelings and expect that they don't care. I really, really liked you, and I probably would've done anything for you if you had only just asked me to, but now the whole plan has gone to shit and I'm stuck walking you back to your dorm like your father or something! I defended you when people called you shallow; I stayed up, night after night reading the Potions textbook so I could tutor you, and all you did was lie! You lied and played with my mind!"

He would've said more but she stopped him with a hand on his cheek. It jolted him to a standstill, her freezing fingers on his warm skin. He almost said something, but she cut him off with her lips.

It wasn't like a spectacularly awesome kiss to Alice, not really. Because Frank wasn't spectacularly awesome. In all actuality and without any offense intended, Frank was utterly average. Alice didn't feel any fireworks or tingles or a click that sent her a message that she and Frank were destined to be married for eighty years and have a hundred little Longbottoms. But that was okay, because Frank, as Alice realized, was exactly the opposite of what she had always wanted. He was sensible and down to earth and sometimes a little pessimistic, but she needed that. She was selfish and he was selfless. And a pretty good snog as well.

After they broke apart, Frank walked her back up to the castle, up to her dorm stairs. Before Alice walked away, she said, "Right. Thanks for walking me back." And that was that.

Frank waited a moment after she walked up the stairs before thrusting his fist in the air victoriously. "Good on you, Frank," he whispered to himself.

Monday was awful. Really, truly awful. Lily woke up late, and when she did wake up, she only had five minutes to brush her teeth and get dressed, having already missed breakfast. Her head was pounding and she felt like her mouth was stuffed with cotton balls. And her hatred for James Potter had reached a new level.

She ran into Potions, sliding into her seat just before Professor Slughorn walked in, clapping his hands together and rubbing them gleefully.

"I would ask how your weekend was, people, but I already heard my fair share," Slughorn winked creepily at them, and Lily groaned and dropped her head into her arms.

Transfiguration was no different. Amos Diggory shared the class with her, and he teased her mercilessly all the way to her seat. It wasn't anything she hadn't already heard from him, but today was just the wrong day to be Amos Diggory.

"How about a lap dance, Evans?" he crooned, reaching out to touch her as she walked by him. She whipped around and slapped his hand away before he even got close, but of course Professor McGonagall chose that precise moment to look up from her papers.

"Five points from Gryffindor," McGonagall called out routinely. Diggory smirked, filled with smug reassurance like he had just won first prize in a county fair over Lily, until McGonagall added, "Don't act like you didn't deserve it, Mr. Diggory."

The whole class snickered under their breath as their Professor showed a rare example of how cool she really was. Amos scuttled back to his seat like the little beetle he was, and that was the best part of Lily's entire day. No joke.

Alice's day, on the other hand, was going swimmingly. Sure, she was kind of pissed off at her friends, and Amos was a complete and utter ass, but the way Frank looked at her at breakfast made butterflies appear in her stomach.

For James, it was the first quidditch practice with the new team, and no one had seen Frank fly other than himself and Remus. Their first game was in three weeks, but they were going to be playing Ravenclaw. An easy beat, no doubt, but he still didn't want to get ahead of himself. The new team was going to need a lot of practice to keep up.

Surveying the pitch, he spotted Sirius and Marlene joking around by hitting bludgers at each other's heads, his chasers trying out some new dives, his keeper lazily weaving through the hoops, and Frank was high up in the air, floating on his back, barely holding onto his broomstick. James could bet ten galleons that most of the seventh years had come out to observe the first practice, so this fucking around business stopped now. He couldn't go out of Hogwarts knowing that he was the one who led Gryffindor to their first year of defeat in a decade.

"OI! You lot, do something productive! Ravenclaw is in a week. Do you want to look like dolts out there? Brown, Dawson, start training McLagen, would you?" he shouted, and his team snapped into action. James floated up to Frank who had almost fallen off his broom in surprise from James's sudden exclamation.

"So, what did you do to Evans?" Frank asked, having noticed the cold shoulder Lily had been giving him that entire day.

"I didn't do anything to her. Besides, she was beyond wasted," James snorted indifferently, staring down below at Brown's sloppy pass and sighing. Someone obviously hadn't been practicing much over summer.

"Well, whatever you did or didn't do, the plan was working and now it's not. So you better fix it."

James's eyes flashed behind his glasses and he bared his teeth in an almost-smile at Frank. After letting his temper cool down a bit, James spat out, "What do you care? Last night, you said to let her be. The plan was over and you wanted out."

Frank sighed and unintentionally floated a few feet higher on his broom. "That was before we snogged," Frank sang happily. James smirked; losing his edge completely and pulling Frank back down to eye level by the hem of his robe.

"Yeah? Where did she kiss you?" James asked and waggled his eyebrows, hoping the poor kid finally would've gotten laid. Frank, unfortunately, didn't catch on.

"On the way back to the castle," he said, sighing like he was floating on a cloud. James really needed a cigarette if he was going to put up with this kind of shit from Frank for the rest of the year. Frank finally noticed James staring at him doubtfully, and suddenly felt like he had said something really stupid. He almost spoke up and asked James what his problem was when Sirius floated up.

"Good day, chaps," the sometimes-dog greeted, "how's the weather up here? Enjoying a bit of time off?"

Frank smiled and James laughed at what sounded to be a pretty accurate impression Remus when he caught them smoking on the roof of the tower when they had a paper due the next day. "Oh, it's excellent up here. How's the quidditch down there?" the captain asked. Sirius shrugged and spoke directly to James.

"You know I'm not a good judge. _But_… I did talk to Marlene, who talked to Alice, who stayed up late to make sure Lily didn't choke on her own puke last night, and she said that Alice said that," Sirius rambled, and James gestured for him to get to the point, "Well, anyway, Lily hates you again, mate. Well done, truly. I think the direct quote is actually something about hating you with a fire of a thousand burning suns, but it's all relative."

James grimaced at Sirius and ran a hand through his hair to mess it up even farther. "Great, Padfoot, really helpful. Glad we had this talk," James drawled, leaning forward on his broomstick in defeat. He really needed a smoke, damn Evans to hell.

"How about we just give her a day to cool off. Is that good?" Frank suggested. James was just about to agree when a bludger whizzed by his head at a top speed, barely missing his temple. He fumed angrily and flew down to rip Marlene a new one, when he saw Lily in the stands, holding Marlene's bat and ignoring Marlene as she shouted at her. Lily stared straight at James and he swore he heard her curse him under her breath all the way across the pitch. Frank flew down after James, seeing what he saw a moment after. "On second thought," Frank stuttered, "I think we might want to give her a couple of weeks.

James nodded his head, the hands clutching his broom shaking from his near death experience as he struggled to tear his eyes away from Lily's. "Agreed."

**Disclaimer: I do not own.**

**Sorry for the really long update, and that it's really short, and I know everyone has basically stopped reading because I'm taking such a long time. It's been a busy summer. **

**Review for preview of the next chapter!**


	7. Chapter 7

"Been a while, hasn't it, Prongs?"

"Feels like forever, Padfoot."

"I think I might be a bit out of practice."

"You, Wormtail? Never. Besides, even if you are, Moony will get you back in line."

"I'd rather he didn't. Speaking of didn't's, what_ isn't_ happening with you and Evans, Prongs?"

"Everything, mate. Everything and nothing," James chimed poetically, clutching at his heart dramatically as the three Marauders made their way down to the Whomping Willow under James's invisibility cloak. Sirius kept quiet, observing his best friend go through all the motions of being perfectly fine. It had been a month since James had been nearly murdered by Lily's wicked bludger (if she wasn't so notoriously scared of heights, Sirius would be worried she would take his spot), and James had been acting like nothing was wrong, but Sirius could see right through him. The team had barely won against Ravenclaw, and if Frank hadn't caught the snitch at just the right moment, they would've been done for. Even tonight, helping Remus, James's head wasn't in the game. Something was missing. James went to bed just before the sun rose with more cuts and bruises than him and Peter combined (but Pete never really got hurt much anyway).

"You do care, don't you, Prongs?" Sirius whispered once Peter's tell-tale snores joined Frank's. "About Evans? You care about her?"

James didn't answer for a moment, and Sirius began to think that James had fallen asleep on him when he said, "Something's gone wrong, Pads. Something's gone wrong with my heart. It doesn't work the same way it used to, not since Dad died. It just kind of… does the bare minimum. It doesn't beat fast when I get good grades or when I win a quidditch game, not even when I pull a good prank on the Slytherins. But last month, when Lily puked on my boots, my heart beat like it was about to jump out of my chest and run away. And I- I think I need her back, not just to help Frank out. I think I need her back for me. I just want to be an selfish, arrogant little git again."

Sirius cherished these moments; whispered conversations across beside tables with his best friend when everyone else was asleep. This is what happened when the lights went out: James Potter started to become human again. The only sad part was that Sirius was the only one who got to witness it.

"Try, Prongs. Do something brave. Sacrifice yourself on the altar of embarrassment, Godric knows she did. Just… just get her back," Sirius quietly urged, absentmindedly drawing figure eight patterns on the ceiling with his finger. He knew that his bond with James was sometimes questionable to the Hogwarts student body on their heterosexuality, but had never told his best friend that he loved him, even though he did, very much so. Not in love, gross, disgusting, no way in bloody hell. But it would make him go insane if James wasn't there to ground him and tell him to chill the fuck out. "I've lost you once, Prongs, I don't want to lose you again," Sirius said, so quietly James could barely here it.

"You're my best friend, Sirius."

"You're my best friend, too, James. Now, shut the fuck up and go to sleep."

James got a good tip off the next morning from an exhausted Alice who failed to put the toast in her mouth several times die to the fact that she had only had two hours of sleep. She informed him that Lily had gotten even more psychotic than usual and had kept her up all night studying for N.E. even though they were in June and the semester hadn't even ended yet.

"Where is she now?" James asked, already tired of her self-absorbed musings. Alice looked at him crossly for interrupting her, and stared down at Remus's essay that Frank had sent down to her to copy.

"Library," she mumbled, pointing towards the door to the Great Hall.

James had no sooner evacuated his seat when it was recovered by Amos Diggory, who had been displaying this kind of behavior for the past month. He was clingy and made suggestive innuendos, and was generally annoying. Alice scowled at him from across the table and almost unconsciously glanced at Frank.

Things with Frank had been… fine. They had snogged a few more times, but he still hadn't asked her out and Christmas break was quickly approaching. She was beginning to get a bit worried, but more anger than anything.

"Hey, Alice," Amos purred in a way that a month ago, Alice would've thought to be seductive and alluring. Now, it just made her ears ring in annoyance. "Are you staying here for the holidays?"

She shook her head that no, she wasn't staying, she was going to Lily's house, of course. He smiled at her, like an animal staring down an injured prey right before it pounced. "Perfect," Amos preened, "then you can come to the party at my house? It's going to be after Christmas, but before New Years."

Now that she was to be home, and her father was within driving distance, there was no way she was even getting in earshot of a boy, much less going to a party with alcohol and boys. Besides, there was no way that Lily would want to go, and that was the only way her father would allow it. She shook her head again.

"Worried about Lily? Don't worry, I've got it covered," he said, winking at her and walking back to his own table. What an asshole. Alice honestly couldn't believe that she had actually liked him once. She looked at Frank, sitting a little down the table from her, and saw him looking back. She gave him a little reassuring smile, albeit a sleepy one, and he blushed.

Meanwhile, James prowled the bookshelves in search of a mop of red hair. She wasn't that hard to spot, surrounded by a mountain of books at her own table. He silently approached her, stepping lightly on his tiptoes, before sitting down across from her.

"Excuse me, pretty lady," he said huskily, making her jump in surprise. James allowed himself a brief moment to study her for the first time in a month. There were bags under her eyes and it looked like she hadn't brushed her hair in a week. James was wrong. Lily wasn't pretty, she was painfully gorgeous. "Have you seen _Witches and Their Path to Equality_ by Sarah Bogswarth? I've misplaced my copy."

Lily laid down her Charms textbook and glared at him, looking very much like a sexy librarian with her hair twisted in a tight bun. She didn't have glasses on, but by Merlin she could definitely borrow his anytime. After a long moment of glaring, causing him to squirm uncomfortably and count the seconds that had gone by and the freckles on her cheeks, Lily finally said, "What are you doing here, Potter?"

"Heard this place could actually help you improve your grades if you read one of the little thingies on they keep on the shelves. Not that I need it, of course, me being the perfect man and all, but it's nice to have a little reinforcement every now and again."

She slammed her palms very loudly and very suddenly on the table and stood up, marching off. James sat for a moment in stunned silence before realizing that he should probably follow her before he got lost.

He found her in a section marked Herbology, and she was muttering under her breath until he got close enough to hear, "You are so…" and she trailed off again, running her fingers down the spines of the books, a look of frustration on her face.

"Charming? Wholesome? Charismatic? Beautiful," he suggested, watching the way her eyes closed as she inhaled through her nose.

"I was actually going to say unwelcome," she sneered at him, pulling a book out and examining the cover before tucking it under her arm and continuing to another aisle where she repeated the process.

James stared unabashedly at her. "You know, you're not as mean as you think you are," he informed her, knowingly. She glared at him and roughly grabbed a book out of the shelf. However, instead of tucking it under her arm, she thrust it violently into his chest.

"At least I have the decency to let people know how I really feel about them. Get lost in the woods, Potter," she spat at him before stomping off. He held the book tightly to his body, attempting to regain the breath that she had knocked out of his chest. So she was back to calling him Potter. Great.

"Prongs? Color me surprised," Remus said cheerfully, turning a corner and seeing his normally deviant friend standing with a book in his hands and holding it like a lifeline. Upon closer look, the title shocked him. "Er, James, why are you reading something called _Witches and Their Path to Equality_?"

James turned to him sharply, a dangerous look in his eyes. "She's still pissed, Moony! I gave her a month, didn't talk to her for thirty days, and she's still pissed! Does this bird have yearlong PMS?" James said rather loudly and was shushed by the librarian. He scowled darkly at her before throwing the book back on the shelf and storming dramatically out of the library.

Remus stared after him, absentmindedly rubbing the already sore shoulder that James had injured again when he had bumped it in his haste to leave. "Good to see you, too, Remus," he mocked in James's deep voice, "I hope your transformation from a terrifying monster back into a teenage boy went smoothly last night. Oh, it did? Swell. Say, Lily is still made at me. Advice? You have the perfect plan? Excellent, glad I stopped by to chat."

James's dark head popped back around the shelf, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "You say something, Moony?"

"Not a damn thing."

"Last week of school, thank Merlin's magical powers," Alice praised, her voice muffled by the book she had her head laying on.

"Come on Alice, we had to get this Amortentia Potion down. We have a test on it as soon as we get back from break. Now, list the first three ingredients and we'll go from there," Frank prodded, pouring over the page without even looking at Alice.

Alice snapped her head up at him. "Could it be boomslang skin, eye of a newt, and the fingernail of the one you want to throttle?" She growled sarcastically. Frank finally glanced up at her, shocked at the sudden change in attitude.

"What? No, I think that's half Polyjuice Potion and half- I don't even know what that other half was," he trailed off, flipping through the pages, half hoping Alice wasn't really mad at him and she had actually just gotten this potion confused with another one. Honestly, he wasn't even sure he could fix it if he didn't know what he did wrong in the first place.

What Frank didn't know is that Alice had had it up to here with his ignorance to her feelings. He still hadn't asked her out. They'd had this weird thing going on for two months, but they weren't official and it was driving her crazy. Well, Amos was also driving her crazy with his stupid spiel on himself whenever she least expected it, and Lily was driving her crazy because Lily was crazy, but Frank was driving her crazy, too. Alice was sleep deprived, romance deprived, and crazy. Which was, as Frank unfortunately found out first hand, was not a good combination.

"Well, when you find out the other half, you know where to find me. Because, you know, I'm so bloody predictable. Always there for Frank when he needs a good snog and then ignore the next day. Predictable Alice," she snapped dryly, closing her Advanced Potions textbook and stalking away. Frank stared after her with his mouth open long after she was gone, and found himself unable to move. Days later, he still wasn't sure what had transpired in the library.

It was all very odd.

**A/N: I actually finished this chapter a while back, I just never got around to uploading it. My bad, friends.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own either things that I'm ripping off and mashing together, but I do own the combination. So don't steal my idea, get me? **

**Review for preview of the next chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8

"This should be enough to follow her around over break. Take her to the cinema, a nice dinner, when you need muggle money, whatever," Amos rattled off, shoving the thick wad of muggle notes in James's face. The scarlet engine beside them on Platform 9 ¾ was still being unloaded by anxious students, ready to get away from people they had been living with for months.

"I don't want it," James refused distractedly, turning quickly to where his mother, looking frail and being supported by Sirius, watched him curiously. "Lily isn't interested, mate."

"Yeah, and I'm not interested in what you have to say, but here we are," Amos mumbled under his breath, holding out the money again. "You want it or not?"

James sighed and grabbed the money, though he honestly had no intention of even seeing Lily over break, much less follow her around. He was going to let her do her own thing. Whatever, he didn't care anyway. There had to be a better way to spend that money.

That plan went to hell maybe a day or two later, when he and Sirius were goofing around in Diagon Alley, smoking a cigarette between them and eating a cone or two of ice cream from Florian Fortescue's, and saw Alice, Marlene, and Lily exit Flourish and Blotts. Lily's arms were stacked high with books, and Marlene and Alice stood next to her, looking bored out of their minds. James smirked and ducked his head in a vain attempt that they wouldn't see him, grabbing the cigarette from Sirius's lips and putting it out as quickly as possible.

"Sirius! Hey, Sirius," Marlene called, waving her arms around to get Sirius's attention. Lily started after Alice and Marlene, but as soon as she saw the messy black head of hair avoiding eye contact with her sitting next to Sirius, she turned tail and attempted to run away. Alice grabbed her by the back of her collar and tugged her forward.

"To what do we humble men owe the pleasure of your fine company, beautiful ladies?" Sirius flirted, fully abusing his way with the opposite sex, like he always was.

Marlene quirked her eyebrow seductively, but before she could engage with him, Lily answered, "We were just leaving. Sorry to bother you."

Without another word or an acknowledgement sent James's way, Lily dragged the other girls off towards the Leaky Cauldron, with every obvious intention of leaving before James and Sirius had the sense to follow them. They didn't catch up until the girl's were already halfway down the muggle street.

"Lily! Lily, wait!" James shouted, but she either didn't hear him, or didn't care enough to slow down. He put his hands on his knees to catch his breath. To say that James was out of shape wasn't an exaggeration. It's not like there were a whole lot of wizarding sports he could do stay fit. He was a skinny as a wand, just like every other kid at the tender age of seventeen. Except Sirius, who had somehow managed to make his body turn into one of those guys from the muggle magazines Marlene always carried around.

Sirius interrupted his gasping by grabbing him by the arm and pulling him up. "Do you remember that muggle love song I taught you, Prongs?" Sirius asked without a smile, his gray eyes flickering pointedly to Lily's retreating back. "Well, take a Sonorous charm."

"No, Padfoot, I really don't think this is the right time-" James stopped talking when he realized his voice could be heard to blocks over. The muggles looked at him suspiciously, and he was glad he and Sirius had convinced his mum to let him go in their muggle clothes. He waved enthusiastically at them, like it was all a big show, just a regular prank, and took off running after Lily.

They had slowed down a bit, thank Merlin, and James was able to catch up to them after a few blocks. "Lily, this is for you," James announced grandly, and Lily whipped her head around to give him her most vicious glare, which to be honest, was quite terrifying. Everyone else on the street eyed him in amusement.

_"Can't take my eyes off of you,_

_ You'd be like heaven to touch_

_ I wanna hold you so much, _

_ At long last love has arrived,_

_ And I thank God I'm alive,_

_ You're just too good to be true,_

_ Can't take my eyes off of you."_

And then James Potter began to remove his clothing.

If Lily Evans wasn't a ginger, and wasn't cursed with fair complexity and the easy way her blood rushed to her face if she so much as dropped a quill, she would swear on Merlin's grave that she wouldn't have blushed. Even James had a little color on his cheeks. Sacrifice himself on the altar of dignity, Sirius said. Win her over, he said. Oh, James was going to get her back, he thought as he sauntered towards her, his shirt already discarded on the street.

_"I need you baby, and if it's quite alright,_

_ I need you baby to warm a lonely night,_

_ I love you baby, trust in me when I say:_

_ Oh, pretty baby, don't let me down I pray,_

_ Oh pretty baby, now that I found you stay,_

_ And let me love you, oh baby let me love you-"_

James sang, very charmingly, very out of pitch, but by now his pants were gone and someone, it appeared, had alerted the muggle law enforcement that there was a stripping teenage boy dancing provocatively in the middle of the street. They tackled him to the ground before he could remove his underwear. Down the street a ways, a dark haired boy, smoking a cigarette, flicked a stick of wood he had in his hands and James's voice went back to a normal volume without anyone really making a fuss about it.

"Oh, Godric," Marlene howled, wiping away her tears. "That was the funniest damn thing I've seen in a long time. In front of a whole street of people, too! Those bloody Marauders- you never know what they're going to do next."

Of course, Lily had figured it out. She'd figured it out when he gave a backward glance to the vague outline of Sirius Black with a look on his face that said it all. He wasn't doing this to embarrass her, despite how red her ears were. The old James would've done it to humiliate her, but this was the new James. As she watched the police cuff him and push his mostly naked body in the back of the car, she knew she had to help him. Even if he was still a little bit of a bastard.

The police threw him roughly into a holding cell back at headquarters, giving him a wary eye. This young boy had the potential to be way off his rocker, after all. The way he just sat calmly on the bench the prisoners were given in only his undergarments covered in golden orbs with wings on them just made the police shake their head in confusion.

"Son, are you aware that public nudity is against the law? A crime?" The guy who seemed to have more wrinkles and more stomach than any of the other police, who had taken James in, seemed to have been assigned to watch him. He sat outside a little desk out of reaching distance from the cell, a filing cabinet behind him. The name plate on the desk he had his hands folded onto labeled him as Constable Johnston. Constable Johnston was looking at James with a mixture of disgust and exasperation.

"Who's law would that be, sir? Yours or mine?" James joked with a grin. Constable Johnston glared down at him. He had been on the force for going on thirty-three years, and he would be damned if this insolent teenager wasn't just like all the others. Thousands had come before him, and Constable Johnston was sure there would be thousands after him.

"That's everyone's law, kid," Constable Johnston sighed. He had been young once, and even though his children never believed him, he knew the difference between loving someone so much that you would do anything for them, and lusting after someone and doing anything to get in their pants. Constable Johnston could see it in the scantily dressed boy's eyes: he wasn't in love. "Did you do it for a girl?"

James eyes snapped to him, and Constable Johnston swore he saw a flicker of anger flash across his face before it settled back into his calm, smug expression. "Aren't I supposed to have been read my rights or something, Constable?"

Constable Johnston rolled his eyes in annoyance at the boy and said, "Or you could give me your name so I could do this bloody paperwork I've been assigned because of your little show out there."

Now, James really hadn't foreseen this little predicament. Obviously, he couldn't say Potter, because his family wasn't registered under any muggle things. He ran through all his muggle born friend's names before coming up with the best possible one.

"My name is Peter Pettigrew, sir. Can I borrow your telebone?"

The Constable gave him an odd look. "Do you mean the telephone?" he asked tentatively, reaching for the last pastry in the box in front of him. Before James could answer, however, the door burst open.

Lily looked out of breath, like she was running from something, and her eyes glanced frantically around the room. James wanted to jump up and apologize for getting in this dumb mess in the first place, but she gave him a look that told him to stay down as she reeled in her frazzled nerves.

"Constable," she cooed, smoothing her hair down with her hand. James noticed her wand flicking slightly as she performed a non-verbal spell that locked the door behind her before stuffing her wand up her sleeve. He almost couldn't hear the shouts from the rest of the police force screaming that she wasn't authorized to go back there. "It seems my friend has been brought here purely resulting from a misunderstanding."

"I apologize, little lady, but there were several eye witness accounts, including myself, that observed Mr. Pettigrew undressing in public," Constable Johnston disagreed. Lily shot James a questioning look at the name, and he shrugged noncommittally in reply.

"No, really," Lily insisted, sitting down in the chair on the other side of the desk. "Here, look at this file over here." she shoved it at him. Taking advantage of the distraction, Lily attempted to subtly hint for James to use his wand to Apparate. James didn't understand her frantic movements, and the constable looked back up.

"Listen, little lady," the officer sighed, rubbing a tired hand over his face. "I'm not sure who gave you the okay to come in here in the first place, and this file has nothing to do with-"

"Are you sure?" Lily asked sweetly, with a charming grin on her face. Ignoring her, Constable Johnston stood up to escort her out of the room. Lily was desperate at this point. She had come so far to merely be escorted out of the headquarters. She had to jailbreak Potter.

So she lifted up her sweater and flashed the officer her breasts.

He stumbled away in shock, and Lily jumped into action, grabbing James's hand through the bars.

"_Obliviate_!" James shouted, just before he sucked through a tight tunnel. The spell hit the officer square in the forehead, knocking him on the floor, and James stuck his tongue out.

They crash landed in a field of some sort, and on closer inspection, James spotted the London Eye on the horizon. He could bet they were a thirty minute broom ride from his house.

"Nice one, Evans," he congratulated. "It's not every day that you meet a girl who'll show someone her boobs to get you out of jail."

"God, I can't believe I just did that," Lily moaned, and James held his hand out to her to help her get up from the dirt. She pushed it away, irritated, heaving herself to her feet and rounding on him. "This is all _your_ fault!"

James felt his jaw drop as he stared cross eyed at the finger she was pointing at his nose. "My fault?" he shrieked. "No, no, no, no, you do not get to blame this on me. I didn't ask you to do anything of the sort that you did, right? You- Merlin, you're such a freak!"

The color drained from Lily's already pale face, making her freckles stand out even more. Her green eyes turned positively murderous as she pressed her lips tightly together. "Don't. Call. Me. A. Freak."

James smirked and leaned down in her face. "What are you going to do, eh? Freak out on me?"

Her lips were on his so quick that he almost didn't even get the words out of his mouth. Once he got over the initial shock, he kissed her back, trying to slow her forced lips down a notch. He ran his tongue slowly over the line between her lips and carefully took her head in his hands. It wasn't until she drew blood on his lower lip with a particularly mean bite did he release her, touching his hand to his lip to gauge the blood. She gave him a smug grin, crossing her arms victoriously over her chest as he continued to freeze in his underwear from the frigid wind.

"Got you, Potter," she snarled. "That's what you get."

James spat out some more blood and looked at her, a million questions running through his mind. She looked warm. He wished he had gotten to at least put some clothes on before they had Apparated out of there. But the most important question of the moment was, "Wait, was that supposed to be some kind of punishment? You snogging me?"

She snorted and said, "Oh, please. The idea of kissing me is repulsive to me. Don't deny it, Potter. I have cold hard evidence that proves that you can't kiss me, even if you try. So yeah, that was me beating you to the punch. Admit your defeat."

James stood silently, staring unfathomably at her as the smug grin began to slip off Lily's face and started feeling less sure of herself.

"Lily," James said quietly, taking a step closer to her, "come on. Who wouldn't want to kiss you? I didn't want us to ruin our first kiss that night after you hit your head because you were drunk out of your mind. I wanted my kiss to blow you away," he promised, touching her chin with surprising gentles when she refused to look at him, "Really."

Lily felt a thousand things. She felt stupidly giddy, amazingly embarrassed, but mostly, she felt warm. Which James did not. And she felt, as loathe as she was to admit it, a little guilty with how she had treated him. "Sorry I made you bleed. I can help you get some clothes if you want."

James laughed hesitantly and cautiously pulled her into a hug against his bare chest, because indeed, he was still three-fourths naked and fully aware of it. In fact, he noted there was a large possibility that his fingers could fall off if he stood out in the cold for a second more. He mumbled into her ear, "Sorry I keep making you feel like shit. I'll try to stop, honest."

She stared at the ground when he released her so that he wouldn't see the blush that had crept its way up her neck, and had darkened even further when he hadn't let go of her hand.

"Whelp, let's get you home, Flower," James sighed, imagining his mothers enchanted fireplace wistfully.

"Yeah, that's my car just over there. I can drop you off if you want," she said, pointing to the big, boxy metal contraption that James had learned about in the one year that he had been roped into Muggle Studies by Sirius. He hadn't wanted to admit it, but he had actually liked learning about Muggles. James peered through the window as she struggled to unlock the car with numb hands. There were comfy looking seats, with a bunch of knobs up at the seat. On Lily's side, there appeared to be a wheel in front of her seat, and what appeared to be a lever attached to the door.

"It's to roll the window down, James," Lily informed him as she ducked into the car, and he wondered if he had said everything out loud.

"I've never actually been in one of these before," he admitted as she unlocked the passenger door for him and he slipped inside the slightly warmer car. She held out a sweater to him from the backseat. He slipped it on and she handed him a pair of jeans, too. When he held them questioningly in front of him, she shook her head.

"They're my dad's. This is his car."

James shrugged his shoulders and slipped them on, but they extend a good five inches away from his waist and his dragon hide boots were showing as he propped them up on her dashboard while Lily revved the engine up. It coughed and spluttered before roaring as she shifted a gear and set off down the road.

"At least they let you keep your precious shoes," Lily noted mockingly. James didn't bother mentioning that she seemed to have forgotten that she needed to drop him off at his house.

"Yep. Vomit stains and all," he deadpanned, but peaked up under his eyelashes to gauge her reaction. She coughed and reached over to press a button. Music began to spill out from the car, making James jump.

"Relax, it's a radio. I know the Marauder's have one; mine's just plugged into a car," she soothed his nerves, but rolled her eyes at his ignorance. James snorted as if to say that he wasn't scared, but he kept eying the radio nervously as The Runaways began wailing. After a few minutes of what felt like endless Joan Jett, Lily spoke.

"Okay, this is going to sound really stupid," Lily started, turning onto a busy street with loads of lanes and even more cars. James pressed his nose up against the window as he watched all the other cars pass by, but still listened. "What really happened to you after fifth year? You came back and you were- different."

James stiffened and leaned away from the window against his seat. He sighed deeply and pushed up his glasses, fiddling absently with his shoe laces. "Can I tell you anything else? Anything at all? Do you want to know how we turned Dumbledore's beard purple for a week? That's a fun story. I can tell you that," James begged, feeling he wanted everything from Lily but her sympathy.

She shook her head stubbornly, signaling left and turning down another busy road. James exhaled deeply when she turned sharply down a private road leading up to a big house at the end of a long driveway. They stopped outside the house and Lily cut the engine, folding her legs up underneath her and looking at James expectantly.

"You have to understand," James began, running a hand through his hair. "My parents are a lot older than everybody else's. I never really noticed until right before my first year, when I was boarding the Hogwarts Express, and I saw that my mum was at least thirty years older than every other parent. It was never really an issue until the summer after fifth year, when Dad had a heart stroke. He had just turned seventy-one in January," James said as emotionlessly as possible, staring straight ahead at Lily's house. He laughed humorlessly, and continued on. "You would think that wizards would be able to counteract something that even muggles have, but as luck would have it, there's no magical cure for things in your brain. So, my dad's health quickly began to deteriorate to the point that by September first, he was paralyzed from the neck down. Then his organs stopped working. Then he died. But I was there, you know. I saw it all happen. It was only about three o'clock in the morning, on September thirteenth- you'll recall I missed the first three weeks of sixth year- and he looked at me and said, clear as day, 'You call me if you get into any trouble,' and I knew something was wrong. I called Mum in, but he had begun to make these awful noises in his chest. Have you ever heard of something called a death rattle, Lily? It's where your lungs cave in and you can't breathe."

Lily's response was a muffled whimper behind the hand she had placed over her mouth to hide her horror. A tear dripped down her cheek as she listened.

"My mum, you know, was beside herself, having been married to the man almost her whole life. Sirius came back from school and helped me with the funeral, but Merlin… it was the most awful… my dad… Anyway," James attempted to clear his throat of the hard lump that had worked its way up from his chest. "I just sort of distanced myself from the Marauders and my other friends after that. I guess I figured that if I didn't love them that they wouldn't die, because my mom has been sick ever since my second year at Hogwarts. After a while, I realized I couldn't go it alone, so I opened up to Sirius again, especially since he started living with us. But I kept everyone else away. Girls especially." James looked at her finally with dry eyes, because he had already cried all he could. "You especially."

His throat cut off suddenly, and he felt like he was having a reaction to something. An allergy, maybe? To emotion, after leaving it in disuse for so long. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself as if to keep himself from falling into two.

"Oh," Lily gasped, "James, I'm so, so sorry." her nose was running and her mascara was running, but she knew he wouldn't care. She scooted across her seat bench and grabbed him tightly as she felt warm tears drop onto her shoulder that James would never admit that he had shed. "I'm so, so sorry," she chanted, rocking him back and forth like a child.

They stayed like that for a while, crying and holding each other while snow began falling around the car. He finally pulled away with a wry grin, kissing her on the forehead before Disapparating. It wasn't until Lily was pulling on her pajamas and getting ready for bed when she realized he could've totally Apparated out of that cell at any time if he knew how to oblivate the constable.

Shit head.

"James put your foot on the brake! The brake, the brake! The other pedal!" Lily screamed, throwing her hands over her eyes. When she didn't feel an impact, she deemed it safe to peek and check to see if she was still alive. She stared out at the pretty, post- Christmas snow amazed that this was, in fact, happening to her. She was teaching James Potter how to drive a car.

"Sorry, Flower," he apologized sheepishly, giving her an innocent smile, eyes wide. If she was anyone else, her hearty would be a puddle of liquid on the ground, but she was Lily Evans. She could spot bullshit a mile off.

"Yeah, whatever," she scoffed, but was unable to keep the smile off her face. It did, however, slip away when she noticed the pile of coats that were Sirius and Alice rolling in the snow, laughing at them. She cranked the window down and shouted, "Oi, if you lot think it's so funny, why don't you come in here and teach him how to drive?" That shut him up.

"Can I go again?" James asked bouncing up and down on the seat in barely contained excitement. Lily rolled her eyes at his antics.

"Alright, shift the car into drive, very good, and easy off the pedal you have your foot on- easy! Easy, James. That was good as well! Okay, now turn the wheel and accelerate a tiny bit. Great. Look, we're driving! Now, put it back into park. Great job, James!" Lily praised, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a chaste kiss. They had snogged a few times since Lily had forgiven him for being a giant tosser, and all in all, they were great.

"I have the best diving teacher in the whole world, that's why," James brown nosed. She rolled her eyes but the compliment made her feel a little warmer in her stomach.

"Driver, James, not diver. Divers are in the ocean," she informed him. He shrugged and ran his hand through his hair.

"Same difference," he said, and she snorted at his ignorance. He knew he had to ask her to Diggory's party, Sirius had reminded him about it last night, but he had such a good thing going with her right now. James didn't want to think about how Diggory still wanted to pay him to date Lily. So far, he had used the money to order about fifty boxes of pizza for Sirius and him. Using the phone had been interesting. They had always been one in the house, but James had never had to use it. Who would he have called? It turned out that you didn't even have to scream at the people on the other end of the line, no matter how far away they were from you. And they said muggles didn't have magic. Don't even get him started on the television.

"So," James said nervously, tapping out a repetitive beat on Lily's steering wheel with his index finger. "Go to Diggory's party with me?"

Lily cocked her head and squinted hard at him. He seemed anxious and uncomfortable, and the easy atmosphere from before was gone. James wouldn't even look at her. "How about no," Lily said shortly.

"Aw, come on," James encouraged tentatively, "it might actually be fun. Besides, no one expects you to go. Breaking the rules of society is fun, right? Isn't that sort of your hobby?"

Lily stared as he rolled the window down and up again, his eyes occasionally flicking to hers and then away. "Why are pushing this? I said I didn't want to go," Lily reiterated forcefully.

"Just try it."

"What's in it for you, huh?" Lily called him out, running a hand through her pony tail in distress. They hadn't really fought since he had called her a freak.

James narrowed his own eyes. He could feel the sweat dripping down his back even though it was freezing outside. "What- So now there has to be something in it for me to want to take you out? That's fucked up. You need to see a therapist. Has anyone ever told you that? They could do wonders for your paranoia, Lily, honestly," James lashed out, automatically pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and attempted to light it with his wand. It wasn't until Lily grabbed it out of his mouth and threw it as far as she could out the window did he remember that he was a non-smoker.

"You are such an ass," Lily mumbled, throwing herself out of the car and grabbing Alice's hand as she stalked back inside her house. James sighed and got out of the car to stand next to Sirius, who held out James's broom to him.

"Want to talk about it?" Sirius asked uncomfortably, hovering uncertainly a few feet off the ground on his own broom, his toes dragging in the snow.

"Minor setback, Padfoot." James waved off. And he was sure that Lily would be fine the next day. He grinned slyly at his best mate as they ascended into the sky on their brooms. "Let's get wasted, mate."

No worries, right?

Right?

**Disclaimer: Don't own Ten Things I Hate About You or Harry Potter**

**A/N: Sorry for the hiatus! Here's your chapter. I had you for a second there, right? You guys thought that the relationships were going to be smooth sailing for a bit? What's that? I'm horribly predictable? Oh, you are too kind. **

** Anyway, review for a preview of the next chapter. **


	9. Chapter 9

"Lily, talk to me!"

"I don't have anything to say," she said impassively, sliding her essay over to James to copy. They were in yet another argument. Ever since winter holidays, there had been a lot of underlying, unresolved tension between them. Usually, they just got into arguments that had double meanings and James was undoubtedly say something to offend Lily, and this spat was no different.

At the moment, James was almost certain she was pissed because he was spending too much time practicing quidditch. Although, it could also be because he had been caught heckling an ickle firstie .

The essay she had given to him was for Transfiguration, the only subject he excelled in besides Defense Against the Dark Arts. He had already finished the homework last night.

"C'mon- you're still coming to the match though, right? As my girlfriend?" James added roguishly, cracking his best crooked grin. Lily glanced up at him and sighed, shutting her book tightly and making James wince.

"James Potter," she said quietly with a bit of menace, leaning on her forearms and spitting hair out of her mouth, "if you say one more word to me about quidditch the rest of the day, I daresay I'll have to shove your head up your ass. I've been told it's a most pleasant experience."

When he giggled, she shoved a finger in his direction and added, "Seriously, don't test me."

James paled slightly, but was not daunted by her threat. When she packed up her thing and tried to leave, he followed, draping an arm over her shoulder.

"Look, I'm sorry I haven't been spending enough time with you. Tonight, Forbidden Forrest? Meet me at six, and don't be late, Evans," James whispered into her ear and then he was gone. She missed his warm presence around her shoulder.

Before he was completely out of sight, Lily regained her wits just enough to yell out, "Oh no you don't, Potter!" he looked at her over his shoulder, still moving with haste as she continued to yell, "You have to with me to Slughorn's party tonight! Don't forget."

"Fine, but I'm bringing Sirius," James conceded, finally slipping off around the corner.

He wasn't gone for longer than ten seconds before Lily felt that pull one feels around her navel that something just wasn't right. She didn't have to wait long to find out what was amiss, however.

"Mudbloods," a tinny voice scratched out, akin to the screech of a broken record on her ears. "They really don't have any reservations about who they spread their disgusting diseases around to. First Severus, now Potter. My, my, my, you dirty, ugly, _freak._"

Lily froze, letting her wand in her robe sleeve slide down until she clutched it tightly in her hand. Her books dropped loudly to the ground, but she didn't care.

"Come out," Lily hissed, swinging around to see all sides of the, until recently thought to be abandoned, corridor. "Come out, you cowards."

"Duck, Longbottom," James shouted as he watched Sirius beat bludger after bludger at the scrawny Seeker's body, high up in the air.

"Merlin," James heard Frank squeak as one of the rocketed bludgers nearly hit his right arm, "watch it!"

"I'm aiming to hit you, tosser!" Sirius barked back coldly, putting extra strength behind the next bludger.

"Oh my… Oh, Godric! James! James!" a frantic Alice Prewett shrieked as her brown hair flowed behind, running at the speed that she was. "Stop, stop!"

James chuckled and motion to Sirius next to him on the ground to cool it with the bludgers. Frank floated safely down and scratched bashfully behind his ears at the sight of Alice. She took no notice of him, but grabbed James's arm rather tightly.

"Hey, hey, _ow_, Alice, that bloody hurts," James yelped, scrambling to get her nails out from where they had embedded themselves into the flesh of his forearm. "We weren't actually going to hurt him- it's just practice."

Alice was breathing frantically and shook her head to dismiss any complaint that James had. "It's Lily, something has happened to Lily! Something- the Slytherins, Bellatrix Black!"

James and Sirius's faces paled, but Frank whipped his head around, looking very confused. "What?" Frank asked Alice after no one said anything at all for a long minute. "What's happened?"

"Lily- Merlin, Lily was attacked."

Lily glared at him as he slept in the chair next to her stupid bed. She had been glaring at him for approximately the past twenty minutes or so, and he had yet to move. His breathing was even and he lacked snores or speech. For some reason, that was really disappointing.

Her elbow creaked when she tried to straighten it all the way, and there was a large gash on her side (cursed, that why Madame Pompfrey couldn't fix it). Lily wasn't sure what she was more pissed off about: that she was being held in the hospital wing or that she had lost a duel to a bunch of Slytherins. Honestly, it was disgraceful. When Professor McGonagall had found her, she had been lying in a pool of her own blood. A shocking sight to be sure, if she hadn't taken out a few of them as well, including Bellatrix Black. Since Lily had fought back in the duel, the Slytherins couldn't be expelled for attacking her, which was a shame.

Lily's eyes snapped back to James's face as he took in a deep breath and sat up, grabbing the sides of his chair for support.

"You're awake," he observed with a weakened smile. She crossed her arms at the sudden chill that had just swept across the room.

"No," she sneered, "I'm still sleeping. Can't you tell?"

"It was a tossup."

"Prat," Lily mumbled. "Why are you even here? It must be nearly midnight.

"By being your almost-not-quite boyfriend, is it not my duty to be by your side when you awaken? I do believe it's in the manual, if you read it."

"Must've misplaced my copy," Lily waved off. He chuckled slightly, running his hands through his hair and messing up his bed head even more. The corners of his mouth turned down quickly before Lily lost all visual contact with his face as he dropped it down into his hands.

"You, er, gave us all a scare, Lily," James admitted, rubbing his forehead nervously. "And I- I'm sorry I wasn't there. I should have been there protecting you, but I was so caught up…" he waved his hand in the air. Thankfully, he made the wise decision to not continue whatever he was about to say at the sight of Lily's furious face.

"_Protecting _me?" Lily hissed, and James knew right then that he hadn't said the right thing. "This was just a fluke. I was caught off guard. In no way will I ever need you to save me, James Potter. If anyone will need saving, it will be you or one of your stupid followers."

James rolled his eyes, trying to keep from rising up to her bait. "Yeah right. You don't need saving? Bullshit, Lily. Everyone needs saving. Don't be such a bitch about it."

Lily let out a noise similar to one that a strangled animal emits. "You- I am not being a bitch! I'm in the bloody Hospital Wing because I acted weak and set the feminist act back half a century. It was embarrassing, and you're just making it worse."

"Worse?" James growled, sitting back in his chair and shaking his head. "Dear Merlin, just stop."

"If you tell me what to do one more time, I'll-"

"You'll what? Fight with me? Come on, everyone has already seen the bitchy, the awful Lily Evans continually tear down the pathetic James Potter as he attempts to make her feel better, or do something right by her. Everyone has seen the show, Lily, because it already happens every fucking day of my life," James shouted into the silent night. Lily squirmed uncomfortably, knowing that he was right but loathed to admit it.

Nobody said anything for a couple minutes. Madame Pompfrey didn't come out of her office, and Lily suspected a silencing charm had been cast around her bed. James simmered in his anger.

"You know, I missed Slughorn's party tonight," Lily said quietly, reaching out to grab hold of his hand. "You're pretty good at Transfiguration. Do you think you could help me with a make-up present?"

James yanked his hand out of her grasp roughly, but didn't get up from his chair. It was rather irritating, this hold she had over him. He could go from furious to helpful with a touch of her hand and soft voice.

"Fine," James agreed gruffly, rumpling up his hair and tapping his fingers nervously against his leg. He had been meaning to tell her his secret for weeks, months really, but he had just never gotten around to it. He had thought maybe as a birthday present to himself, but that was still another week away. Besides, the big match was on his birthday, Gryffindor against Slytherin. Happy birthday from Professor Dumbledore. "Lily, speaking of my skills in Transfiguration, I need to show you something. You have to promise not to freak out, just remain calm."

Lily, who was satisfied for the moment by his agreement to help her with his master plan, just gave him a little smile, bright and happy.

You know, until he turned into a large stag at the foot of her hospital bed in front of her very eyes.

She covered her mouth with her hands to muffle the blood curdling scream she released. After attempting to hop out of the bed, for reasons she was uncertain of (to run away, perhaps), she fell to her knees before the live animal in front of her. It's not every day the boy you like turns into a giant woodland creature. Very shocking to the system and Lily didn't even notice how her knees hurt from kneeling on the stone floor.

"Christ on a cracker," Lily hissed out, finally noticing the ache in her knees as she stare at the animal. It blinked back at her, snorting. "James?" she asked, reaching out to touch the stag's thin legs."

It moved out of her reach skittishly, its antlers getting caught in the bars at the end of her bed. Lily scrambled up, wincing and laying her palm on her wounded side. As she held her breath cautiously, she brushed her knuckles carefully across the stag's head. It stiffened, but was unable to move away. She squatted down in front of its eyes and began pushing its antlers back through the bars.

"You know," Lily whispered to the stag as she worked, "my patronus is a doe. We match. Fetching."

The stag managed to wriggle out of the bed, finally, and kissed her. Well, James kissed her. She had missed the transformation. He kissed her and kissed her until her knees gave out and she fell onto the bed. He kissed her still, trailing spits of fire down her neck and collarbone, and she felt his cold hand slip in through the gap in the back of her night gown and caress her bandage. She inhaled deeply and shivered in delight running her hands through his messy hair when he sucked on a spot on her shoulder.

"You're so beautiful," James whispered into her ear. She sighed and wrapped her legs around his waist, anchoring his body against her own.

Hours later, Lily was balanced on James's chest, giggling as they passed a fire whiskey in between them. Lily vainly attempted to concentrate on an empty gold fish bowl.

"I like that your knickers have these little snitches on them," James said, taking a swig from Ogden's finest and toying with hem of her panties. She swatted his hand away and mumbled a few words, and the bowl filled with water as she set it on the bedside table.

"Oh, like yours don't?"

"No, mine have lions, see? Gryffindor pride, Flower."

"Yeah," Lily sighed, laying her down on James's chest. It wasn't that comfortable, he wasn't super muscular or anything, but it was nice. It had only been Lily's second time to do something like that, but it was nice. Really nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. James Potter was nice. James and Lily were nice. James and Lily Potter were nice. Nice, nice, nice, n-

Lily as the thought ran through her mind, grabbing at her bandage. James held onto her tightly, for fear that she might fall away from him.

"Look at them, Frank," Remus whispered to him across the table at breakfast as they stared at Lily Evans and James Potter. "Are they… Godric, are they holding hands?"

Frank glanced down the table lazily to them and then focused back on his toast. Suddenly, it hit him and he nearly fell off the bench in his attempt to snap his neck up to look at them again. Lily looked up and smiled at hem when she noticed their staring. Smiled.

They weren't the only ones staring. Amos Diggory looked on smugly, like this was his plan all along, and sent Alice a sultry look that she didn't return. The Slytherins were eyeing them contemptuously, and Severus Snape went as far as to get up and storm out of the hall. Neither James nor Lily seemed to notice.

"Did you see?" Sirius asked with a wide grin, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at his best friend and the girl snuggled underneath his arm as he slid in next to Frank.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" Peter demanded, looking over Remus's shoulder with a frightened expression.

"Boys," Alice chided, sliding down the table away from her friends to touch Frank on the arm, "can't you tell? They've taken their relationship to the next level. Oh, this is so exciting!"

Everyone but Sirius Black stared back at her with confusion. No one said a word. Sirius burst into laughter at their puzzled expressions, calming down enough to enlighten them to what Alice was alluding to.

"They had sex."

Frank blushed and rubbed his neck uncomfortably, Remus muttered something about getting some homework done in the library and took off, and Peter began to shove pancakes into his mouth, presumably out of shame.

Lily left soon after Remus, and James slid down the bench to rest next to Peter,

"Hey, mate," Sirius greeted cheerfully. James smiled crookedly in return, but looked at the other two boys in confusion when they refused to meet his gaze.

"What's up with them?"

Before Sirius could answer, Amos Diggory appeared like the creepy little badger he was and rested his elbow on the table near Alice.

"Hey, Alice," he whispered in her ear even though everyone around them could hear what he was saying. "Did you see what I did for you? Now you can, like, go to Hogsmeade with me sometime."

Alice rolled her eyes and dragged her fork through her scrambled eggs.

"Hey, man, this table is Gryffindor's only. Unless you're wearing red and gold, beat it," Sirius warned, looking down his nose at the Hufflepuff with an aristocratic air that had carried over from his life as a brainwashed, pureblood supremacist child.

Diggory eyed him warily before whispering something in Alice's ear and heading off. Frank glared at his back as he walked away, asking, "Alice, what did he just say to you?"

Alice blushed and shook her head before standing up and mumbling something about finding Lily. After she left, it was just the Marauders and Frank, all looking very confused. Even Sirius couldn't decode that one.

Diggory had whispered that he would meet her in the astronomy tower at midnight. Alice felt like vomiting at even being with him. Something was _so_ off about Diggory.

"So, how was it?" Sirius asked slyly, digging into his eggs. James reached across the table and cuffed him over the head, laughing when Sirius came up covered in jam after exaggeratedly thrusting his head down from the supposed force of James's blow.

"You son of a bitch," Sirius grumbled.

"No, you are," James corrected, and the Marauders minus Frank laughed when Sirius nodded in agreement at the mention of his crazy mother.

"Frank, I think it's safe to say that you can finally ask out Alice now," James told his friend, winking at him as he took a swig of pumpkin juice. Frank's eyes widened and a slow smile spread across his face from ear to ear.

"You swear it, James?" Frank asked, cautious hope in his voice.

"My hand to Merlin, Frankie," James joked. Peter stared at him like he was a stranger, and James was finally unnerved enough to ask what the hell he was looking at.

"You're not even acting like yourself, Prongs. You're acting- I don't know," Peter struggled for words. "I guess you're acting happy. It's weird."

James laughed loudly, tucking away his breakfast and giving a knut to the owl who offered his leg with the Daily Prophet attached. The owl flew off and James unrolled the newspaper, reading the eye-catching headline of a dead auror. It dampened his sunny attitude only slightly. "You don't say, Wormtail," James said, pouring over the paper and continuing to chuckle slightly. "You don't say. I feel happy, too."

Sirius and Frank exchanged looks at James's strange behavior, and Sirius snatched the paper from his hands. "This rag sheet must have gotten to your head, Prongs," Sirius noted. "You need to be in top shape before the big match anyway. Come on, eat up, don't want to be late."

**Well, I'm getting really lazy about updating these. Whatevsssss, I'll try to be quicker next time.**

** Review for a preview of the next chapter!**


	10. Chapter 10

"Wish me luck, Evans."

"Kick some ass, Potter."

"I love it when you talk dirty, baby," James laughed, boosting his broom higher up on his shoulder and looked down at Lily with a surprisingly soft expression. She pushed him away when he went to kiss her on the cheek, but Alice could have sworn she saw Lily blush.

"So, Alice," Frank coughed, digging his trainer into the muddy ground. It had rained heavily the night before, leaving a thick sheen of fog hovering over the grounds. "Would you want to go to the party after the match tonight with me? As a— you know, date sort of situation?"

"You asking me out, Longbottom?" Alice sniffed apathetically, looking down at the ground to hide the way her eyes lit up and the butterflies flew around her stomach like they were creating a swarm migration.

"Uh… yeah?" Frank answered, unsure of himself all of the sudden. He gave Remus the dirtiest look over his shoulder that he could must, but Remus was dutifully ignoring him while he talked to Rosmerta. They were standing just outside the Quidditch pitch, prepping for the final to start. Gryffindor versus Slytherin, naturally. When wasn't it? Sirius was off sulking somewhere because he supposedly hated his brother so much that he didn't even want to see him on the pitch. Peter was… well, Merlin knew where Peter seemed to be slipping off to lately.

"I thought you'd never ask," Alice replied finally, reaching out to weave her fingers through his and squeeze them tightly. Frank stared down at their interlocked fingers in amazement. He had done it. He had actually done it.

Frank had beat Lily Evans and tamed her down (well, technically, James had done that), he had pushed Diggory away (Alice had actually discovered how nasty he was on her own accord, so maybe that didn't count either), he had found a place to fit in (or maybe the Marauders had found a place to fit in with him), and he had won over Alice Prewett, the most beautiful girl in the entire school.

"Go get 'em, Tiger," Alice whispered in a way that made him shiver as she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Please refrain from expressing your affections for Mr. Longbottom in public, Miss Prewett," Professor McGonagall chastised tightly, coughing to clear her throat and hide what appeared to Frank as a smile as she passed by to get to the spectator stands. Frank ignored that McGonagall hadn't even gotten on to James and Lily even though James had to whip his hand out from under Lily's shirt really fast, because he couldn't get the stupid grin off his face. Alice jumped away from him at the reprimanding, but didn't let go of his hand.

"Sorry, Professor," the new couple chorused and grinned at each other.

"Yeah, I sort of got them all together," Remus was bragging to Rosmerta, leaning casually against one of the spectator towers. "I'm really just a lost soul and a hopeless romantic. I mean, at one point, they were all ready to give up. I knew they were meant to be, you know. I told them to keep on going, that was all me. So, really, I'm the cause of their happiness. It's no big deal."

Rosmerta sighed, dreamily gazing at Sirius as he walked up to James dressed in his Quidditch uniform. Remus scowled at him, losing concentration on keeping his balance and fell over into the mud on his rear end. Sirius looked over to him curiously at the crashing noise Remus made, and shot him an amused grin after seeing him soaked in mud.

"All right there, Moony?" Sirius called, watching Remus try to get up and casually wipe the mud off his pants. Remus shot him the bird and stalked off to join the spectators in the stands. After an uncomfortable moment, Rosmerta followed him. Sirius turned back to James with a shrug and a message.

"After the game, Dumbledore wants everyone in his office, pronto," Sirius said quietly so only James, Lily, Frank, and Alice could hear. "Whenever we find Remus and Peter again, we'll have to tell them, too."

James and Frank nodded, while Lily and Alice exchanged anxious looks. "How do we know," Lily teased with a grin after the initial surprise at Sirius's solemn message wore off, "that you aren't just going to lure us to Dumbledore's office and then pour sewer water over our heads?"

Sirius barked out a laugh and pulled her away from James to ruffle up her hair. She ducked and kicked out at him which he dodged deftly. She tried again with a punch, but he caught it in his hand and pulled her into a tight hug. She squirmed out of it and laid a delicate hand on her ribs. Sirius tracked the movement with his eyes and growled. Like a dog. "I swear to you, Lily, I will fight Bellatrix until the very end. I will try to kill her even if it's the last thing I do," he promised. Lily looked at James who was staring back at her with a hard expression on his face.

Lily let out a little nervous laugh and hit Sirius lightly on the shoulder. "Yeah, yeah, Black. Your game is about to start." She pushed him away, turning slightly smile a proud grin that she wouldn't let Sirius see, ever. James, Sirius, and Frank waved as they disappeared into the tunnel that led into the pitch.

"You know," Alice said, twirling a strand of hair around her finger as she stared after them, "if you told me this time last year that I would have a boyfriend named Frank Longbottom and you would be shagging James Potter, I would've called you a liar and sent you to St. Mungos."

"And now?" Lily prodded with a grin. Alice blinked and looked at her best friend.

"And now," Alice concluded, "I would still say that it's hard to believe."

"They are good boys," Lily agreed, sniffing the air. Spring always gave her the worst allergies. "We just didn't see it before, but they are good. And good looking, which helps. Except poor Peter," Lily added on as an afterthought and Alice grinned widely, letting out a giggle.

"Godric, Lily, I thought you were supposed to be nicer now," Alice reminded her, grabbing her hand and leading them up the spectator stands to watch the game.

Dumbledore stared at the group of ragtag Gryffindor's, varying in size but not in heart. Three of them were covered in mud from today's exciting match, and they all had bright smiles on their faces to prove it. "Welcome, everyone." Dumbledore smiled kindly at them, gesturing to the one chair in front of his desk. "Please, sit down."

They all exchanged looks in puzzlement, before James spoke up. "Er, thank you, sir, but we'll stand," he said awkwardly. Sirius coughed something in his hand that was surely not intended for Dumbledore's ears, and Lily smacked his arm. He winced and rubbed the spot where she hit him, eyeing her murderously.

"Very well. Licorice wands?" Dumbledore offered, holding out a bowl of candy. Peter leaned forward to take some, but Frank held him back by his sweater.

"No thank you, sir," Lily declined politely. "If you don't mind, could you explain why we're all here?"

"Ah, yes," Dumbledore nodded, like he was remembering why they were even in his office in the first place. "The Order of the Phoenix."

"The order of the who?" Frank blurted suddenly. He reddened as they all stared at him oddly. "Sorry, sir, please continue."

"The Order of the Phoenix is a resistance of sorts, against the rising power of Lord Voldemort," Dumbledore announced without flinching unlike the rest of the teenagers did. He noticed their skittish behavior and shook his head, letting his beard swish around him like a long cloud. "Do not fear his name. Just a short while ago, he was also a student here. Though, he went under a different name then."

"So, you want us to join the Order of the Phoenix, sir?" Remus asked warily. "When we haven't even finished school?"

Dumbledore nodded sagely. "I chose each of you, Mr. Lupin, because even though not all of you are at the top of your class, your bravery and your belief in good makes you special."

"Er, okay," James said, looking at Lily. "Could I talk to you privately, sir?"

Dumbledore shrugged his brightly colored, cloaked shoulders unceremoniously. "Of course, James."

The rest of the students filed through the door. The last one out was Lily Evans, who seemed to be having a sort of silent conversation with James. Dumbledore looked between them in amusement. He hadn't been aware that two of his favorites had gotten together.

"What can I do for you, James?" Dumbledore started, watching James collapse ungracefully in his muddy Quidditch uniform into Dumbledore's sole chair.

"I need to know, sir," James said slowly, "is this going to be very dangerous? Could we… could we die?"

Dumbledore didn't answer for a moment as he stared at James unblinkingly, making the young man shift around in the chair uncomfortably. "Yes, James," Dumbledore said finally with a sigh, looking away from him, "you could die. It would be for a better like for you children and a safer future, but there is a large possibility that you could die."

James sighed heavily and dropped his head into his hands, pushing his glasses up onto the top of his head and rubbing his face in an exhausted way. "I'm sorry, sir, but what about Lily? Or Sirius? How would I live without my best mates?" James asked, looking at Dumbledore with an expression that made the older man think that James had already seen too much death and felt too many things that a boy of recently eighteen shouldn't see or feel.

"If I know Miss Evans and Mr. Black at all," Dumbledore said, "then I know they won't even hesitate to fight in this war, James. It hasn't even crossed their minds to decline. If you wish make sure that your friends live, then you must join me to protect them. I'm sorry, James, but you must know that is the only way."

James paused a moment before nodding. "You're right, Professor. Thank you." he stood up to go, and Dumbledore held out the candy bowl to him once more.

"Licorice wand?"

James hesitated for only a moment before reaching into the bowl and grabbing a fistful, smiling widely at his soon to be former headmaster. "Don't mind if I do, sir," James declared cheerfully his glasses falling back down his nose as he took a huge bite of his absolute favorite candy. "Don't mind if I do."

James lifted the cup high in the air, his meeting with Dumbledore almost all but forgotten. The Common Room was decked out in posters of him flying around on his broom. He had done it, after all. He had won the Quidditch Inter-House Cup. Against Slytherin, no less. The look on Rodolphus Lestrange's face when he scored that last goal before the Regulus Black caught the snitch was worth watching a thousand of Ogden's finest firewhiskey bottles being thrown into the lake. Okay, maybe more like ten.

There wasn't only Gryffindors here, though. There were Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and he might have even spotted a Slytherin. James didn't really care, because the moment he handed the cup to Sirius, the most beautiful girl in the room threw herself into his arms.

"Congratulations, Potter," Lily teased in his ear. "I guess you are good for something."

James made a huge show of being offended, Sirius joining in as they talked as though they were knights of the round table and even Remus pretended to bite his thumb at her. She laughed and hugged him again, and James barely caught the wince as she grabbed her side in pain as she pulled away from him.

All smile wiped from his face, he told Peter to turn up the music and guided Lily away from the big group of people. Carefully, he settled her into the couch by the fireplace and kissed her head gently.

"Merlin, James," Lily complained, pushing away his hands in frustration. "I'm motherfucking fine."

James stared at her with his mouth wide open, before the corners twitched up in a mischievous grin, "I don't think I've ever had the pleasure of hearing you curse in such a manner, but I would quite like to hear it again, Flower."

"You are so insufferable."

"Potter," a voice interrupted, and James sighed in annoyance before turning around to glance at the nuisance. It was Diggory, of course it was Diggory.

"Fuck off, Hugglepugg," James snapped, holding Lily tightly to his chest. She frowned and wiggled away, glancing between them. James had never shown and previous hatred for Diggory. Why now?

"What I want to know, Potter, is why after the countless galleons I've given you and your little friends, Longbottom is here with Alice. Care to explain?"

James jumped up and attempted to grab Diggory by the shoulder and drag him away from Lily before he could say something else. But Diggory, stubborn Hufflepuff, was like a bloody boulder. James managed to drag him a few yards away, barely out of hearing distance.

"Look, I told you I didn't want your money anymore, so if you would just leave-" James said sounding rather like he was pleading with him. Diggory smiled, sensing an advantage.

"Free country, isn't it? I'm not leaving until you do what I paid you to do," Diggory ordered. James sighed and slowly removed his wand from his boots, consequently the pair that Lily had thrown up on. He had managed to get the vomit out, in the meantime.

"I don't want to do this, Diggory, but-"

"Right, so what exactly are you paying him to do?" Lily said over James's shoulder. James stiffened in surprise, allowing Lily to push past him and talk to Diggory face to face.

"To date you, hag," Diggory spat, looking down his nose at her. "Did you honestly think Potter would fancy you out of the blue? Fat bloody chance. Paid him ten galleons a date."

It was Lily's turn to freeze in surprise. She whipped around, looking for something, anything in James's eyes that would tell her that Diggory was lying, but she found nothing. Nothing but betrayal and humiliation. Lily felt faint, and then she saw red.

"Lily," James begged, "it started off like that, but it's not now. Please, just listen."

"No! Piss off, Potter," Lily growled, slapping away the hand that reached for her. She stormed out of the portrait hole, pushing people out of her way as she went. The Marauders, plus Alice and Frank, were now pushing the opposite way, towards James and Diggory. The rest of the people attending the party just stared, and the tension was tangible.

James punched Diggory in the face.

Diggory fell to the floor, clutching his jaw and blinking back reluctant tears. "Dammit, Potter. What the bloody hell was that for?"

"Bastard," James hissed through his teeth. Diggory was on his feet in a second, swinging his fist to catch James in the face when someone's hand stopped him.

"Watch it, Diggory. James is our friend," Frank warned, who had arrived on the scene seconds after Sirius caught James's fist. James was distracted by Frank's declaration and cut his eyes to him in surprise.

"I'll do what I want, Longbottom, regardless of your _friends_," Diggory snarled, turning around and punching Frank in the face, and sending him careening into James.

"Now that you two are under control," Diggory started, but was cut off as he was slugged in the stomach by Alice Prewett.

"That's for my best friend, you shit," she said, kicking him between his legs, "that's for my boyfriend," and she punched him square in the nose, "and this is for me," she drew her wand and threw a wild hex at him. "James is right. You are a real bastard."

Diggory, holding himself between his legs as blood streamed down his face and boils began to pop up on his body scrambled out the portrait hole, sounding a little like he was sobbing for his mother. The Gryffindors cheered and hollered, but Alice, Frank, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter couldn't even muster up a smile.

Lily was never supposed to know

**A/N: Don't own Ten Things I Hate About You or Harry Potter.**

** Review for a preview of the next chapter, which I believe will be the last.**

** However, I'll probably do a chapter after that for deleted scenes and stuff. **


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